Meeting Sam

a spiritual journey

My awake dream

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Right after I decided I was ok with making an introduction next time I went for a session with a medium, I met Sam…no introduction needed – this is a long story and I will try to explain it the best I can.

I also made “drawings” – these are stick figure drawings, they are meant to aid my descriptions and they are not very accurate but I tried 😉

This is a normal evening, just like any other evening – I go to bed and instead of sleeping, I am in a relaxed state with my eyes closed, trying to go to sleep. As I am falling asleep, I start to see little lights in my otherwise dark vision. Very faint, don’t make anything of them. I rub my eyes but my eyes are definitely closed and then I see this image:

IMG_3920

It was a wall, great wall, and this indian looking symbol in the middle like a gate keeper or not sure how to interpret it – it didn’t feel bad, it just was.

Later interpretations were 3D world borders, gate-keeper, 3rd eye opening, american indian energy (almost like a dream catcher) and third eye symbol look-alike, etc.

Whatever it is, it was interesting and it was pretty clear – my drawing is less than desirable but you get the idea 😉

I opened my eyes thinking OMG is that the devil, lol – but I quickly didn’t really care and just thought – weird! I then decided I really needed to go to sleep because now I am seeing “crazy stuff”

But that wasn’t the plan. Next, I saw a cool purple circle with multiple “orbits” rotating – that was on the right of my “horizon” and I also saw some lights around it – I didn’t count them and I don’t know how many exactly but around a handful.

IMG_3921I really didn’t know what to make of this and I was fully awake while seeing this – I thought I am seeing lights in the room so I kept touching my eyes and my eyelids were closed. I wasn’t dreaming because I was aware of my body (touching my eyes) and seeing “stuff” so I decided I am having some sort of an experience. Since I had decided I was ok with meeting a guide I thought maybe that is how I see a guide, as a light? I thought, ok, which one, come closer?

I then asked myself (in my mind) if these lights are guides or angels or spirits of loved ones, or? 🙂 I thought, I want to meet my spirit guide but I am scared. I kept thinking “oh, just go to bed, go to sleep, I am tired, go to bed, I don’t have time right now, I just need to sleep…”

But that didn’t quite happen 😉

In my drawings, the black lines represent just a dark “horizon” – like if you close your eyes and everything you see is black and the sheet of paper is the “big picture” like a movie screen. I tried to position all my masterpieces (hehe) just as they appeared in my mind’s eye – small or large, etc.

At this point I am back to the “yes I am curious but also lets try to go to sleep” thought – well, that’s mixed feelings (I was told later) and thus not what you would use as boundaries. Luckily, I didn’t have strong boundaries because I am happy I met Sam.

My next image was an S. The letter came in a light fog in the dark horizon and it came closer and very clear.

IMG_3922I had no doubt it was an S. I was excited, I knew I am getting a message and I thought “Sam” – I don’t know why I thought Sam and I immediately dismissed it because I thought I am making it up. I thought that must be the shortest and easiest name starting with an S I can think about.

I thought to myself, ok, I see an S, I see a clear S, so I am assuming your name starts with an S…I will call you S, no Superman, hehe. But I had a clear Sam – I just thought ok, spell it out, send more letters. Until then, all I know is an S.

I thought the way the S came was super cool – it was a little distorted, sort of like captcha, the letters you enter for online forms – but very clear at the same time – there was no doubt it was an S, a capital S.

So I, again, kept touching my eyes during these clear images, they were closed but I was awake – awake and tired but curious 🙂

I tossed and turned, I was completely aware of my body, etc – I was awake!

I thought to myself “ok, your name starts with an S, I get it” – I then saw him! He came in a fog too, like my letter, and he was small but I could notice quote a few things about him.

IMG_3923#1 he was a man.

#2 he was wearing a suit – very spiffy

#3 he had dark hair

#4 I could not see a clear face or facial features

#5 I didn’t know him (he was not a passed relative, etc)

Regardless, I knew he was trying to communicate and I knew his name started with an S. I remember thinking to myself “I wish I saw a face”, and “I wish I knew the full name” but I joked in my mind, ok, “Hi Superman or S or whatever your name is”

I remember thinking again how tired I was and that I really should sleep!

I was happy and thankful for the connection and I realized how “hard” it was. Meaning it felt slow and “coming from far away” almost to get the messages and images I saw.

At this point I fell asleep a little bit and when I woke up (eyes closed) I was seeing an a and I had to chuckle in my thoughts because I realized Sam is being confirmed, letter by letter – I got the M too, just a bit later. He spelled it out for me because he knew I was doubting my intuition that told me Sam in the beginning. I dismissed it and he confirmed it – in the future it will be easier to trust what thoughts I have and just go with the flow.

I kept thinking – “ok, this is really cool but I need to sleep, I will be SO tired!” – thoughts like this kept mixing with thoughts of “don’t be ungrateful – this is awesome. Some people spend a lifetime meditating and trying to have this happen and you just experience it easily, etc” – I was told later that boundaries are ok and I now feel that way – I feel more in control and I am still working on figuring out what works – this is all very new.

IMG_3925After falling asleep again, I “woke up” and with my eyes closed I saw Sam’s face, I knew it was him and I knew I am seeing something super large because I was complaining I didn’t get a face earlier 🙂

He has dark hair, big kind eyes and a mustache (I thought) so I exaggerated it in my drawing 🙂

So, the two questions I had (name confirmation, and face) were both answered the same night I met Sam – he heard me and he responded. I felt so happy and thankful that we were actually communicating!!! it was amazing.

But again, I was tired so I said thank you in my mind and said I was happy for the connection but really needed to sleep. Just before I thought “wait! Do you need to tell me something? Do you have a message for me?”

I didn’t really get much but again after a little sleep I got the feel of an audience – it felt like people sitting in an amphitheater.

IMG_3924I then got an image of a lot of lights out there – it was almost like the image from the movie Ghost (if you’ve seen it) at the end, when he “walks to the light” and there are others welcoming him into the other side, except for I wasn’t going there, I felt very much separated but I could see them all as many, many lights, happy lights.

I didn’t know what to make of it, I always wanted to know what am I supposed to do, how am I supposed to serve, what is my higher purpose? is there more to this (life)? Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing life…I don’t think things are “missing” I just always want to do more, learn more, help more, get better, pay attention, create joy and spread it! 🙂

When I showed this image to the medium she thought that many on the other side are excited about my awakening and my opening – excited about the connection. I think it feels true but I also got the audience feel and even though I don’t really know what it means, I trust it and I know that the answers will come at the right time.

Next waking up was in the morning and trust me, I wasn’t ready – I was, indeed, tired as I really didn’t sleep very well – but I was also excited about my connection and it seemed unreal.

It is also hard not being able to just tell anybody and everybody about it – can you imagine? “hey, guess what – last night I think I met a spirit guide and he spelled his name, and then…” haha, yeah right. Luckily, I have Teri and I was able to show her the images and talk to her about it without feeling judged. She agreed that Sam seemed like someone easy to ask questions of and he was…he definitely answered mine.

I felt like a whole new world is opening to me and as much as I was excited, I was also scared because I didn’t want to do this all the time as I was beat – I needed to figure out a better way but at the same time I was happy and excited.

What did this mean? Will I get some random spirits now connecting with me? Umm – creepy and NOT at all what I want to do. I have no desire to do that and I have no doubt that it is not over once we die so I don;t need to connect with all my dead relatives for any kind of reinforcement, etc – no, this is about something bigger – this is about something that I don’t already know. I am curious and I want to evolve and learn.

One other thing, during the night while I was having all the above visions, my computer turned on – full on light in the room and I thought—OH!!! don’t like that. Then, the second I looked at it, it turned right off! Now, for anybody that knows anything about computers, this is impossible given that I have a 30 minute screen saver setup – the computer once turned on, should have stayed on but it was Sam – he is computer savvy 🙂

It was kind of freaky and I remember this wasn’t the first time it happened but I never thought much of it before – now, since it happened right in the middle of the above visions, I knew he is telling me “I can do this;” however, it is not something I care for, it is a little freaky. I think the freaky part has to do with the society portraying different technology “stuff” in horror movies so that feels a little scary to me whereas the visions were peaceful. So I gave a mental message “I don’t like that, stop” at the time and went on to bed. I didn’t really see/get the point at the time…”so you can turn the computer on and off and it is freaky”…ok…and? 🙂

BUT now I get it – he was trying to make me understand that he is with me! He was trying to tell me who he was, really, but I wasn’t getting it at the time. I didn’t make the connection at all. Sometimes communicating is like charades…you have to interpret messages and I just didn’t get it – but looking back it makes perfect sense. Now, it makes sense.

I was asking who he was and he was trying to explain that he was in my house, he was with me…but since I didn’t know him, I still didn’t get it. Maybe he was also trying to tell me that although the communication seems slow and from “far away” he is actually very close to me…that’s the feeling I get, that’s what I think he was trying to do. He is definitely not trying to scare me, I know that. Because I knew that at the time I thought – ok don’t do that. 🙂 (update – it doesn’t bother me as much now – although electric issues are not my favorite ways of communicating) sometimes i get flickering lights that otherwise work just fine, etc. I now say in my mind “hi Sam” and it usually stops. He knows it is not my favorite thing and I continue to tell him it is a little freaky. 🙂

Next, I will tell you about going to the medium to confirm exactly who Sam is – pretty cool.

Much love.

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