I met Sam two days before I was scheduled to go in and tell the medium I was working with if I wanted to turn my spirit awareness on or partially off.

I was so anxious and excited to tell her about my Sam.

I went in with my silly drawings because I wanted to show her my visions – I also wanted to remember them for myself, I thought it was important to document. (big blog parenthesis – this applies to the entire blog – I am not sure what or why I am doing the blog but I know the reasons for now are that I need to write it all down for myself to be able to remember and access anytime AND I want to share it with people who might experience something similar and think that are crazy. I am not sharing this with my family, close friends or husband…this is my journey and I am very much at the beginning so I am not sure where it will take me. I don’t know what will come of it, I am learning and exploring and as the title says…this is a journey. I might decide to share my journey with loved ones or others later in which case I can give them a link to this blog and let them read everything. It will be hard to remember all the details years from now, I wanted to have it documented – kind of like my online anonymous journey. I met Sam about 3 weeks ago and I still have some things to document…after that, I will just keep this “journal” as needed and as I experience things. I want to have a place where I can write about my experiences, thoughts, feelings…and be able to access it anytime.)

So, at the medium, we went over my drawings, confirmed my feelings about them and what I “got out of it” and then she said – ok, I am dying to know who Sam is – and I couldn’t agree more. Bring it! She said she doesn’t think he is a high spiritual guide but a lower guide maybe even an angel.

So we sit down, facing each other, and she closes her eyes. she then says he is right next to me, sitting to my right – I think “ok…?”

She asks me if I was attracted to him in my “dream.” I thought “umm, I don’t know?” I remember thinking he was very spiffy and put together, which I love – he was wearing a suit – a man in a suit…rrrrr. 😉 But the answer is no, I didn’t think about that, I was focusing on what was happening, what he looked lie, who he was, etc.

She said the reason she asked that was because he was tall, good looking and he was one of my husbands from a past life, circa 1800. She said he was wearing a hat, a long coat and looked spiffy. She said he had been with me since birth in this life, he was one of my angels and he was here to help me. I got chills – OMG my Sam was my husband in another life? Whoa, how interesting, I thought. Isn’t that interesting???

WAIT – is that weird for my current life and husband? I decided, a clear no, but still I felt so lucky – this loving man was here to help me, he must have loved me a lot (he must still have a lot of love and compassion for me and my desire to get better) – he must know so much about me and what I am trying to do, who I am trying to be, how I am trying to live my life (at the highest level of myself) and he must have so much patience to connect with me and also so much understanding of the human condition to be able to “deal with me”  – I was just overwhelmed in a good way. I didn’t expect that.

I didn’t think it was someone I knew – I am not saying I know him but I clearly do, at a higher level – we clearly have a soul love connection and he is helping me – he is going to help guide me and now I know he is here…I have no doubt, I know who he is, I know what his purpose is, I know we can communicate – wow. Just wow.

The medium then told me “ok, this is a bit like charades…I am getting an image but it makes no sense to me because he is trying to communicate with you so…does a frog mean anything to you?” I said “yes! I have a huge frog in my living room, it is a toy, a rocking toddler toy my daughter rides.” So the medium said “what that means is that Sam wants you to know he is in your house, he is with you” I just got chills as I wrote this – that’s his yes to me, even now…so funny!

So I thought, ok, he’s in my house, yes clearly he is…I feel a presence, I feel stuff all the time. I have been feeling super anxious before we communicated almost like something is building – and then I found out what it was – this happened again and then we communicated but let’s not jump ahead.

I asked her if he is also the one turning the computer on and throwing my scrub off the counter and she said yes. I wanted to know because I was wondering ok, is this Sam or is there something else I need to know about? I was happy to know it was him but I also decided it wasn’t for me and I’d like to stick to visions and not flying objects or computer screens turning on at 3 am.

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Interjection – I didn’t tell you about my flying object. I was in my bathroom the day after I met Sam or the day of my medium meeting, don’t remember – and while in the bathroom, my heavy scrub jar “falls” off the ledge in the bathroom and onto my floor right in front of me. I knew it was not an “accident” because I was nowhere near it and I was looking right at it. I don’t really know why they do that…the medium thinks Sam was excited about our connection…I almost get the feeling that they will do everything they know how to do to get our attention and as I write this my light is flickering again hehe – it stopped 🙂

Interpretation – I now know he was just trying to get my attention because right after that was the first time I thought “I should document my experience” and the name of “Meeting Sam” sounded like what it should be – because that’s what it was all about. i just had that thought and then didn’t think anything of it. Now it all makes more sense – funny how many things make more sense, looking back.

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She then said I should have some symbols with Sam so we can try to communicate. We set a symbol for “working hard” which was an ant (to me, in the Romanian culture, ants are the hard workers in folk stories), money which was pile of coins, losing money which was empty pockets, sick or not feeling well which was a hospital iron bed and i don’t remember what else.

She tried to get me to imagine a space, then a chair, then Sam sitting on it, then me communicating with him but I couldn’t do it. I tried to do the chair, I tried to get Sam in the picture, I changed the picture, it doesn’t really matter – the more I tried and the more structured and thought out it was the farther and more silly it seemed to me, I just couldn’t see anything. It wasn’t going to happen, I wasn’t feeling it.

So she gave me homework – my sister-in-law was going to Vegas and she said “think about your sister-in-law and ask Sam to tell you if she is winning or loosing sometime this weekend and see if you get one of your symbols?” I was excited for my homework.

We also discussed boundaries and the fact that I felt ungrateful if I think “I need to sleep” – she said no. She told me “imagine if a family member shows up at your house at 2 am to chat…what would you do?” I got it – I thought, ok, I need to be more firm and decide when I want to communicate and when I don’t. So, I said I will make appointments and we set two 30 minute appointments per week and I was to be available to meet and try to connect. I was to report back about everything.

After all this I communicated it all to Teri (my life savior) and she, as usual, helped me be very relaxed, present and awake about it all. I am finally feeling good about it! Exciting.

In my next blog I will talk about the symbol messages I received from Sam and how it happened. I guess we can graduate to a new category “after meeting sam?” 🙂

I always feel him around – it is comforting.

Much love.