I always think I have “no update” but when I actually sit down to write I realize there are quite a few things I haven’t logged and many more that I just forget after a few hours or don’t remember at all. Teri suggested a notebook by my bed to write questions in at night and answers when I wake up – I have been using my phone notes instead, works so far, we will see. I have logged some things but forgot to log days, etc.
I have my guide’s names now – I asked them and they either gave them to me or we made up acceptable names that felt right together – whatever the answer is, the bearded older guide is Viktor and the other guide with the thicker lips is Mike or Michael. I am very happy to have names so I thanked the guides. (also I met yet another guide – the first woman I saw…details below)
I also saw an asian looking “person” (i didnt get a gender – i thought both genders or just neutral) sitting with their legs crossed, hands together and holding light – the light – then as I kept watching it seemed like there wasn’t just one pair of hands but many many sets of hands holding the light – it felt very peaceful.
Last week I went through some personal human drama – I was so MAD that I had to figure out how to go primal before I could even begin to EFT or release my upsets – so, I go to my bedroom and I let it out. I was punching the bed and pillows as hard as I could while screaming as loud as I could in my comforter and crying and just letting my rage out – I was a caveman (I am actually a woman now/here)…until I felt like a vein in my head popped – not kidding, super strange and it hurt so I stopped going crazy. I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I actually busted veins around my eyes (on the outside of the eye, visible through my skin). I know I did something to the thick forehead one but I can’t see anything on the outside so I am assuming it is ok. I’ve done anger release like this before but I don’t think it was ever as raw and I honestly feel like I could use energy to explode out of my body – the medical equivalent of what I see in my mind might be a stroke and not as “cinematographically” beautiful but I feel like I have the power to do that so I had to calm myself down as I have more playing to do here and it wasn’t my goal to hurt my body – I simply just let it go and I was surprised at the intensity. I don’t do well with dishonesty and that’s what my human drama was wrapped in so I went a little nuts. I asked my guides for help and I have been releasing and working on myself and apart from a super sore shoulder and busted veins under my eyes I am ok 😉
That night, I turned to my guides and I asked about my “drama” and for some guidance. I then had a dream. It was really elaborate and I don’t want to detail it more than to say it was on the topic but I didn’t really understand what the guidance was…it was not clear to me because it was just telling me what I already knew – that I had to choose what to do – and that might have very well been my message. I understand that it is hard to “read” for yourself when feelings, etc get in the way and I also understand the guides are not here to stop us from learning our lessons. Issues with trust in relationships have had a pattern in my life so trust and forgiveness, etc could very well be something I am working on in this life. I am making my choices – and the #1 choice is to not explode out of my body when angry lol – I still need it on this planet 😉
Because I feel so powerful and when I was channeling my anger I literally did physical damage, I think I’ll be more careful in the future with going primal – clearly I have no trouble accessing feelings 😉
The following night I was still struggling with my forgiveness and I asked for help. At first I got a quick V and that’s normally what I see for Viktor so I assumed, ok, V is “coming on” – but I then saw an asian male face – kind of like Buddha, he reminded me of Buddha – he had thinner lips and a fuller face and it felt asian even if I don’t specifically remember studying the eyes. I don’t know what to make of it – I don’t know if this is part of Mike whom I only remember lips from or someone else? Is this tied with the hands holding light I saw that were also asian in my mind? I don’t know.
I then saw the light out in the horrizon and I then saw a female jaw line and then face, semi-profile – I immediately thought to myself “she is here to help me with my husband trust issues” that I asked for. I kept looking and then she had a mask on – not a weird mask but a fancy expensive half face (eyes only) venetian looking mask – a simple, beautiful, porcelain, white and blue eye mask. I thought to myself this is weird, am I seeing this ok? Then, after I did see the mask by itself so yes it was a pretty lady mask and the face I saw was a woman. So who is my mystery woman? Is she another guide? I also got an “O” so I don’t know if that has to do with her name or something else – I just want to keep it logged so I can come back to it if it makes sense later.
So now I have Sam (my angel), Viktor and Mike, the two guides (Mike is still to be confirmed), the asian Buddha look-alike (is this Mike or someone else?), and the woman with a mask. So there are either 4 or 5 of them and I only have Sam and Viktor (angel and higher bearded guide) confirmed by the medium – the new ones are new connections. I do know, however, that I have been saying my affirmation before I go to bed and only allowing spirits of the light of higher development than me. I will let you know as I find out who my new “contacts” are.
I am amazed at how fast this is really developing – two months ago I didn’t have anybody and now I need to write them down and really pay attention. I need more information and it is fun. I will try not to get wrapped up in any human “stuff” this week and focus on healing my body, resting, and getting back to exploring my connections with higher spirit. I don’t think exploding will help anything other than get me to the light faster 😉 hehe
I have the feeling there are 6 of them right now, 6-7. I don’t know if that includes Sam, I assume so. If that is so, then I haven’t yet met them all – maybe they’re taking turns introducing themselves and showing me how I will distinguish them? That’s what makes sense – I will confirm and make more sense of it.
On the boots on the ground agenda: working on the new business direction; attracting the right clients; attracting wealth – creating the life and business I want to have. I am close, so close – my only challenge is allowing for greater abundance, I still find myself have doubts BUT I am using the Magic by Rhonda Byrnes as guidance and I know I’ll succeed, it is just a matter of time and doing my homework – GRATITUDE.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.