Meeting Sam

a spiritual journey


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A new experience

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog – I have been “busy” being pregnant 🙂

During my pregnancy my guides have been a bit quiet and I understand the baby sees what I see and there is a level of protection around us when it comes to woowoo work because he is sensitive. I will add some blogs regarding my reiki classes and experiences; however, for now, I want to tell the story of Sunday night.

Sunday, June 1st 2004, a day like any other. I open Facebook and I see a post from one of my best friends. She happens to be in the Ukraine with her son fulfilling a visa requirement and 10 walking minutes from her apartment complex there is a full on WAR going on. She woke up at 4 am hearing gunshots that seem “outside of her window” and they were living in pure fear. The posts on Facebook made me reach out to her and after we talked I decided to run reiki for the war, for all sides involved, for us…the human race and for conflict resolution. I targeted my friend, her family, her area and Ukraine in general and although I know the “proper way” to do it is to initiate the long distance symbol, etc I never felt I really “needed it” so I simply spent 5 minutes sending reiki to this bubble I had put them in and I “supercharged it” – by this I mean I always knew there was another “gear” I just imagined the maximum amount of energy going out of my hands and just sent it out with the message “run until no longer needed” – once that was done, I felt great and out of sight out of mind…I went about my day.

When I went to bed that night, the minute I closed my eyes I had a vision of being in a room with a yogi, a lady sitting with her legs crossed, hair covered kundalini style…I will call her Guru for identification purposes. I knew I had to run reiki, it felt like I was getting a message from her, the universe…so I did. I didn’t know if I was running it for her but I just ran it anyway and when I looked up, we locked eyes and she had the most intense stare and looked right in my soul…she felt strong, confident and very powerful…if that makes sense 🙂 It was as if she was present to something I wasn’t…she knew something I didn’t know, correction: something I wasn’t aware of at the moment.

The next second I felt her energy start flowing like she was running reiki back “at” me. It felt strong and intense and I was confused as to why I was called to run reiki and then she was running it back? It made no sense so I resisted it – I pushed back in a way with mine and then it got even more intense and when it did I started doubting this “activity” and myself and what I was doing. Doubt led to fear and fear led to the loudest and most scary sound plus shaking in my body like I was in the middle of an earthquake/hurricane that was threatening my physical body so I freaked out and opened my eyes quickly and “snapped out of it” – I was left scared and confused. I didn’t know what this was all about so I started seeking help.

Session #1 – dowsing with my dowsing master

Of course two weeks prior I scheduled a session with my dowsing master for no reason – it happened to be the morning after this experience, how convenient 😉

I went in a bit apprehensive, I didn’t know if I got in an energy “war” with this woman or what this was all about. She told me off the bat that the experience I had was because of me running reiki for the Ukrainian war..I had tapped into sticky business and my vision is a result of my reiki session.

We started looking into it and the first thing that came up was that this was a LESSON for me. A lesson involving trust – trust in my ability as a healer, trust in that nothing can really happen to me, trust that all is exactly the way it is supposed to be, etc. I didn’t really start feeling “bad” in my physical body until I lost fait and started getting scared – so we worked on releasing trust issues and we found various “points of access” and with the divine help cleared that for me.

We then looked at the issue of control which came up next and it came up at that I was holding on to control 100% – meaning not willing to let go, wanting to control anything and everything – well, if you know me that is no news hahaha. I tend to be on top of things (when not pregnant!) and I am controlling – it is something I struggled with all of my life and something I have been actively working on during the past few years. I don’t want to say that I can’t help it because that’s part of being a victim and that’s the third thing I’ll touch on BUT it is how I operated. So when it came up I knew YEP, it is time. We needed to release it completely…the reason it came up was because in my vision I was trying to control the energy…I felt something foreign to me and when I couldn’t control it I freaked out. SO…we found a point of access, dove in, and with the help of the divine we cleared the control issues for myself and although patterns and memories will still come up, it’ll be much easier to notice and relax in the moment.

The third thing that came up for clearing was feeling like a victim – I felt powerless when the body felt the sensations and I was very afraid…felt like something was happening “to me.” I had to be reminded that we don’t have any experiences without our prior consent and that on a higher level I chose this for myself. It is sometimes hard to realize that – I did, really? 🙂 Yes, I chose this experience and it is part of my journey. I know I am not a victim…I sort of know 😉 So, we found a point of access (16 weeks gestation actually) and we dove in and cleared any and all victim related issues I was carrying from the mother lineage, it felt really good and powerful.

We then went back to the war issue – this is not the first time I work on clearing war “drama” as I have experienced clearing things associated with the Romanian revolution, the Vietnam war, etc and I am told helping with war is something I took on for myself in this life as a healer. I find it easy and liberating but most importantly necessary. As I was thinking about this lady…and as we were doing the above clearings I kept seeing this man in a white suit, head covered with holes for eyes….sort of like a scientist working with something highly toxic. So I mention it and Erina dowses it and he is related to the war going on now and he is working on bio-chemical weapons in the Russian-Ukranian region so we’re called by his higher self to do a clearing for him, whoever he is. So we do and conflict issues come up for him since year 1010 so Erina had the guides handle that and clear it. I then saw a woman silhouette and she dowsed that that was my friend from the Ukraine and upon dowsing it came up that she (on a higher level) positioned herself there to allow for healing energy to flow through her right at the heart of the conflict…we also made sure her physical body will not be affected at all, etc.

As she is doing that, I now see a purple whale so I tell her – she thinks “oh, maybe the whale will help take the peace messages all over the world” as they are very much in tune with us and with what the planet is going through. As we work on other clearings, I then see a pyramid, crystal, tip down so I tell her about it and she tells me it is connected with release of control…well, good…since we’re working on it 😉

Next I start seeing two diamond pyramids and as I pay attention to them there is a “normal” one and an upside down one on top of each other and they almost tough at the tip but the upper one is off a bit so I move it in my mind’s eye to align it (seemed like the right thing do do?) and as I do, a light shines out of the tips like a cool BOOM I am here and cool kind of sunshine light “explosion” in a good way. Then, some geometric forms start surrounding the tips of the pyramid and creating shapes – first an outline, something with many “sides” and as I pay attention to it it looks like it is forming the flower of life. I started laughing as I am not sure what I am seeing and why but I mention it and try to describe it. She asked me if I know what it was…ern, NOPE 🙂 She then told me it is merkaba and I seem to have activated mine when I aligned my pyramids after the clearings we just did. Again, I am lost…I had to read up on it, I remember reading about it before but a long time ago – you can find info on it here http://www.openheartmasters.org/merkaba.html … I wasn’t trying to do anything but it does seem like most things I do just seem “logical” and I go along with it to then find out what it means…jump, right?

I found this too: http://books.google.com/books?id=efntA77RtJwC&pg=PA194&lpg=PA194&dq=whales+pyramid+planet&source=bl&ots=HFnLAkgREt&sig=0jERQP-xACvvdrMB0dw_RwHMawE&hl=en&sa=X&ei=Xb6PU8u9HZKpyAT7lYH4BA&ved=0CDkQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=whales%20pyramid%20planet&f=false It talks about whales, pyramids, merkabah, etc. There is a lot more on the internet about this that I plan to read on.

Year 1 also came up with up in a clearing and Jesus energy was present for helping which I am not surprised about as I have felt very close to “him” recently so we worked a bit on clearing conflict again, killings of infants, etc…the wounded male energy in general.

there is so much that went on with these sessions, I need to listed to my recording but for now, this is what I remember 🙂

Session #2 – I called my trusted medium for a quickie

I told her the story of the lady with the energy exchange and as she tuned in she told me that the lady in my vision was, indeed, a yogi and energy healer (past tense) and that she is now a guide who I was channeling and who will be with me many times to do reiki for war related issues, etc. She did agree that I chose to work with this particular type of healing among others and said that the intense experience I had was the guide’s energy but that instead of letting it FLOW through me and to the “affected area” I was opposing it in a way and I kept it inside and didn’t let it pass through me…apparently if I don’t become a channel and let it flow when she sends it then my body will have that intense experience that I didn’t like 🙂

She then said it is ok to call her Guru but she did provide another name (long, starts with a B and my medium didn’t get it). She showed the medium what she wants me to channel the energy she sends through my hands, all of my palm and fingers and she said all I have to do is think of where it’ll go just like I do normally and put my hands up and let it flow. Easy enough, right? 🙂

The medium also said that I can connect to the Guru in meditation and try channeling the energy again. Sounds kind of cool 🙂 I know this sounds a bit crazy but it is what I chose to do and it feels right. I do feel like there is a lot I can do and I trust that all I have to do is put my intention on it.

Reiki: I kept feeling there is “another gear” and even though the reiki class instructed us to use a “long distance symbol”, etc, etc I don’t…I just go with my gut and send the energy the way it feels natural. That’s what I did with the war in the Ukraine and since I had this experience later that day I’d say that it worked even if I didn’t do it “by the books” – it is nice to be reassured and it is also nice to experience different things and keep learning and exploring.

I am very excited to know I have a new “entourage member” and I look forward to working with her again on whatever comes up.

The two sessions really help shine light on the big picture and sometimes it does take multiple perspectives to get the whole picture and really understand whats going on. I was terrified Sunday night after I lost control of my body and it is so reassuring to know that I am 100% in charge and that I can actually help my experience and use it for a higher purpose. I wasn’t “warned” of this experience so I didn’t know what I was supposed to do and I clearly resisted it instead of channeling it. I didn’t even make the connection between my vision and the reiki I did for the war until after…I had a feeling they were connected but that was about it.

For now, that’s where I am at – pretty crazy, ei? 🙂

Much love.


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Fast changes & manifesting with joy

Hi world – long time no blog! 🙂

I am pregnant! 🙂 remember when I told you I will change my probable future and make it happen? Done and done.

I am so excited to share this with you because, as you know, I was told “it was not going to happen” – well, I am co-creator…I can make it happen and I did 🙂 Yay, I cannot wait to help bring someone into this world and I am excited to see who decides to join our family. I have to admit, I did a lot of work to release the fear and the medical “issues” related to things I could’t even dream of but let’s back up a bit as I haven’t blogged in a while.

Screen shot 2013-11-15 at 9.51.57 PMAt the end of September I attended a week-long seminar on dowsing (with a pendulum) and its healing and clearing uses. It was an amazing weekend for so many reasons and, most of all, it was extraordinary because I learned how to use a tool and be in constant contact with my higher self and guides. We went over many things and I will give you a few examples to get an idea of what you can tap into and clear. (note: dowsing is not the only thing you can use for this, it is just one of the tools. Also, there is nothing special about the pendulums, they are just objects – what is special is our connection to the divine – I can do it with my car keys, the pendulum is just a tool)

Random physical pains – foot, etc – when I tapped into the issue, there was more than one level to clear. I tried it by myself at home after the first day of class and I cleared part of it but needed help because I didn’t yet trust my abilities. When the instructors looked into it, after many questions, the guides took us back to my childhood, when I was 9 years old! I thought “but I had a great childhood, nothing happened to me” – it turns out that I was 8-9 when the Romanian revolution (aka. civil war) happened and even though I was fine, others around me were not. Being an empath and very sensitive I absorbed the grief, fear and other negative emotions that over the years started manifesting in my physical body because they have never been cleared. WOW – as we were clearing, we were all feeling the emotions and in the clearing we also included the Romanian people and everybody ever affected by this, all time and dimensions. It was amazing and we helped millions of souls from something ‘minor’ I was working on, I couldn’t believe it! Of course, when I went to the doctors, there was also a medical explanation for this; however, I know now that every physical pain or illness is connected to something else – something emotional, environmental, spiritual, etc from this life or others. I also learned that we can “tune up” anything in our bodies.

Screen shot 2013-11-15 at 9.50.49 PMTrust issues – my husband and I have been playing around with trust issues for quite a while and no matter how hard we tried, we always seemed to go back to the issue once in a while. Although we are both responsible adults, we were faced with this issue. Given the training and work I am doing, for the first time, I handled it BUT the residue was still there even after the Sedona, even after the EFT – still there. So, I brought it up in dowsing with the instructor. In our exploration, this issue really had to do with my husband but before I take you down the crazy rabbit hole guess what! My husband and I had 9 lives together, we decided to come here together and work on trust together and also work on awakening together – isn’t that amazing? Back to the rabbit hole: dowsing questions took us to my husband’s 9th week gestation, pre birth. That is when he “took on” these issues, from his mother, who had trust issues with his father at the time (this I knew of, just didn’t even think about) – turns out that those issues were then caused by his father’s trust issues with the Vietnam war – my husband’s dad was drafted, had to go there against his will and we all know what happened in Vietnam (even if we choose to forget), not to mention the trust issues around the entire war and the lies these poor men and our nation and even the world in general were told. SO not only did we work on my personal trust issues but we went down and cleared the entire rabbit hole, the whole family, for all times and dimensions AND went deeper and did a clearing for all affected Vietnam vets and people involved in the entire world not just US. We, again, cleared so many souls and suffering people and again – dealing with war, the wounded warrior, etc.

Do you see a pattern here? I was starting to wonder “what is my deal with war” – we dowsed that too and found out that it is something I took on before re-incarnating and it is something I wanted to work on. Well, it is happening, I am working on it. 🙂 Also, it turns out that I have been a dominant male/warrior in many lives and it could be the reason why I decided to work on the war/conflict issues. Things have to change and all we can do is work on ourselves and we will help many. The below past life regression session touches on a few warrior lives I explored.

Past life regression – I went for my first past life regression, it was so cool! I will briefly describe the lives I went to (four) – the photos are for illustration purposes, the images in my head are much more clear and less cartoony.

Screen shot 2013-11-15 at 9.58.38 PM1. The first one, I saw a snake at first…looked like a snake, reptile, etc. But it wasn’t a snake, it could talk and I could just see the head at first, I didn’t trust it at all although it felt like I was on Earth so who was this “snake”? In answering the medium’s questions it turns out I was around a different species (reptile aliens of some kind), BC, and we were not getting along. I was a warrior of some sort, I felt male. We were not getting along because we were different and I remember thinking it was “dumb” but there was no stopping it. It was sad and hopeless and it made no sense, I kept saying that. In the end, war was inevitable and my message from that life was acceptance – acceptance of “different beings” regardless of what the difference is or what they look like. We just couldn’t get along for no apparent reason and it was sad.

Screen shot 2013-11-15 at 10.04.04 PM2. The second one, I was a Roman general or higher up warrior of some sort, definitely a man. I had the leather skirt outfit, I was around Rome, and I was holding a large spear weapon by my side. I felt important, proud, powerful and “in charge” – I was definitely in command of soldiers/army. My name was Marcus something, I had a family and children but I was absent and not in charge of them at all – I had a feeling I had a wife who handled it all and helpers. I felt sad at the end of that life that I didn’t spend more time with my family and my children. We were in conflict with other armies and I remember thinking at the end of the life that it was unnecessary and that I should have spent less time “working” (meaning being away or fighting) and more time with my loved ones.

Screen shot 2013-11-15 at 10.08.33 PM3. The third one, I remember looking at mud, my feet were in mud. I was a samurai, I was wearing the whole outfit (think the last samurai movie) and I had a sword…I was near battle or on a battle field and when asked my name I said “Sensei.” I was then told Sensei is a martial arts teacher/master which made sense because I knew I was a really good warrior but definitely a samurai first and sensei/teacher later in life. I then went forward in that life and I was in Japan under a gorgeous tree with pink flowers with my two sons. I was married and had kids but again, I had neglected the older boy because I was gone a lot. I was now playing with the younger boy and I knew the older one missed out on that love (and was resentful) so we did forgiveness work around everything and everybody and the message for me again was to focus on family and what is important – love.

Screen shot 2013-11-15 at 9.54.42 PM4. For the 4th life, instead of opening a “normal” door, the transparent door to this life opened like Star Trek doors and I was on deck – I was on a ship, it was light inside and very high tech looking. I felt like a frog – I actually started laughing because I was a frog-person. When asked my gender I couldn’t respond because I had none, I didn’t feel like male or female and to be honest I don’t know that I had reproductive organs but besides the point. The coolest thing is that I had 3 fingers lol. I was definitely green and frog-like and I was an explorer. When asked what the purpose was, I just thought of travel, exploration, and observation – it felt normal and peaceful. I know where my love for travel comes from 😉

So there you have it, 4 lives, two human, one froggie, and one I have no idea. I know the ones I was interacting with were reptile-like but I am not sure what I was at the time. I was a man in almost all of them – wow, no wonder taking care of kids always felt foreign to me. It is something I am working on in this lifetime and also: being with family and not putting “work” first. Very fascinating.

The wounded female – after working on the wounded male, wars and so many male and war related topics, a physical symptom came up and I had a dowsing session with the seminar instructors. I could not get rid of an infection on my skin – I dowsed by myself and cleared something but apparently it was just one layer – I needed to clear more, so we did.

We went down a rabbit hole again and found that the cause was the objectification of women, connected various parts of my life: teenage years, college and young adulthood (pre 22). Things related to oppression of women, the right to education, racism issues (picked up while in college in GA) and other injustices, being labeled as “just a model” or “beautiful and that’s it” etc. You will not believe how many things came up and how they were all related. We cleared them for myself for all time and dimensions and also for everybody involved, it was powerful! I started to get more confident.

I have been practicing dowsing and I think it is one of my favorite tools so far – I plan to take more classes and get certified. When I started this blog I thought I am doing it just to have a safe place to store my thoughts and experiences – never did I think that in 4 months I will be thinking of getting certified in dowsing, reiki, mediumship, etc 🙂 Did I mention before that things are moving fast? Think light-speed!!! I have found my calling, I want to become a spiritual healer, I want to help people. Let me preface this by saying that I am a successful business owner and by business is doing well BUT it doesn’t feed my soul – I want more and for the first time I have something I am passionate about – really passionate about.

Pregnancy – let’s go back to dowsing for a second because this is important – I can’t detail every little thing I asked, dowsed and cleared but I need to mention that after I found out that having no other kids is a version of the future for me, I was determined not to pick it. I can do anything, so I was determined to spin my body into shape. Many environmental, emotional and spiritual issues have affected my uterus and ovaries and I have worked on at least 4 direct factors together with all the other clearings and the body tune-ups, hormone balancing, etc. Everything combined, together with EFT-ing for fear, affirmations, vision boards and dialog with guides helped get me to this place. I am pregnant, which means I can get pregnant, which was the initial issue – check, done 🙂 You, too, can do anything, if you believe and work on it.

What’s next – I am practicing dowsing and spiritual healing on people, to gain confidence. My goal is to complete 20 clearings at no cost to gain some experience and confidence. In the meantime I will work on getting certified. Also, I mustered up the courage to admit that I want to be a spiritual healer to some friends. I had no idea my life will take me down this path but I am so grateful and excited – I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing. It feels like play and fun and I feel like I am contributing. There is no better feeling than to feel like you are positively impacting a life or more.

In the meantime, I had some visions in and out but I think overall, my guides are just really helping and supporting me in my decision to do this work. They are here for me and with their help and support I will write down my goals and I know the Universe will help me accomplish what is best for the highest good of all – I trust that this is meant to be and I will not deny my passion and ability. I honestly didn’t know I felt this way 4 months ago but things are progressing fast – I always knew there is more, I just didn’t know what. If less than 6 months looks like this, who knows what the next year will look like but I am excited and ready for the ride! 🙂

Also, I started sharing things with my husband, I am easing him into the transformation. We are at the point where he will jokingly ask me to dowse what player he should bench in fantasy football hehe – step by step, is just perfect. Most of my family now knows about my work to some extent and I plan on opening up more and accepting my true self – this has truly been an amazing, yet incredible, year and I have so many things to be thankful for, starting with all of you. Thank you for supporting me and stay tuned, I will keep you posted about my practice sessions and certifications. Stay positive, be grateful, stay present – this is a beautiful experience.

Much love.


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My support & visions of love

It has been a little while, a lot has happened, here’s an update.

Going to bed one night I saw an angel “coming down” – it was a ball of golden light at first but as it got closer I could see it had a body and wings, it was really beautiful. So majestic, so graceful, so pure and so LIGHT. I then saw the face of my nun guide, who I have named Mary because she reminds me of Virgin Mary paintings, with light literally shining out of her heart, it is beyond amazing, no words can describe the love, I get emotional every time I think about it – I was blessed with such a vision.

Screen shot 2013-09-27 at 12.39.32 PMIt looked like this but without any details, just silhouette.

I then saw a beautiful young male face – it looked like a gorgeous statue, perfect symmetry, and it went in and out with my nun guide Mary – she had the light star coming out of her chest and the garment on her head – but the images kept going in and out between Mary and the beautiful male face I named David because it reminds me of David, the beautiful statue – he has curly hair 🙂

I asked in my head of they had a message for me and I saw a cup of black coffee and then I was staring to see other things but I don’t remember – I wanted to pretend that I didn’t understand if they meant drink or don’t drink lol – but I knew what they meant so I gave up coffee immediately. What’s the point in higher guidance if I will ignore it? I decided they know best and I want more guidance so I will follow their lead. it has been 3 weeks with no coffee now and I am proud of myself – did I mention I used to go crazy on sugar and heavy cream and also buy those starbucks caramel frapucinos? yes! That was me – I switched to green tea and any kind of tea I want, really, and I feel much better and I lost 5 pounds! (I am also walking 3 days a week)

Another night, I saw a flickering bright light out of the corner of my eye at the head of the bed the entire time I was reading my affirmation – it was bright and flickering brighter – it was beautiful. I think it was my guide, Mary, she has been coming over to see me a lot because when I closed my eye I could see her.

Screen shot 2013-09-27 at 12.35.51 PMThis is the closest thing I can find to what I saw – is beautiful and she has a thing on her head like in the picture. Also, I could see her heart and there was insane blinding love golden light coming out of it. Not fire, love light. Her hands were open, sore of like the photo of the angel about and she was giving the love/light. It was beautiful, peaceful and it felt amazing.

Cool clairvoyant vs 3d vision experience:

This was honestly the coolest thing because I could see the difference in vision with my eyes vs my third eye – it was so amazing – hard to explain but I will try. One morning I was  in my quiet state as I was waking up and I could see my guide Mary coming down, I was facing – “looking” at a corner in my room and with my eyes closed I could see her faintly. I opened my eyes for a faint second and in 3d I could see a fog-like mass floating in the corner, up in the room corner, it was strange, I was aware of the room and of the limitations but they were not as “hard” as usual – the 3d field seemed more matrix-like than normal when I am awake. Anyway, opening my eyes while doing this was SUPER HARD, it took great effort and concentration to open them even for a second but I did about 5 times or so and back and forth I could see a presence physically in 3d and in my mind, they looked different but they were the same thing, it was super interesting, never experienced anything like it before.

Back to my last post – who said “hi”? 🙂

I went to my awesome and trusted medium and it was one of the first things we went over – who said hi? It was Viktor, one of my highest guides. He said I was very frazzled in the kitchen scrambling and it was the first time I heard him, he wanted to help me calm down and let me know everything will be ok. He said he has said my name and hi many times, it just happened to be the first time I heard him. Wow, amazing. I haven’t heard anything since – I’ve wondered many times what a good time would be, what the best thing to say would be and honestly I have no answer. I am grateful that I have the help although how can I talk about this to people, now I hear voices, sure that will go over well hehe. Well, the good news is that I hear the voice of my high level guide and not some “random stuff”

My doctor guide was also there and since I have been calling him Doc, he gave the medium a name, Patrick, and a shamrock for Irish so we have a name.

Guides update:

Sam – my angel and guide, also past life connection

Screen shot 2013-09-27 at 12.52.10 PMViktor – a very high level guide, he is helping me a lot and he is with me a lot. I imagine him looking similar to this – at least his projection or what I got. He has beautiful blue piercing eyes and a white beard – a lot more groomed than the photo I think – shorter hair and beard, groomed.

He is older and very wise and I get the impression that when he talks, you listen.

He wears greek-like garments like a greek or roman philosopher, sort of.

Mike – thick lips, I haven’t seen him lately

Buddha – or Bud, my funny Asian-looking guide

Screen shot 2013-09-27 at 12.59.58 PM

Mask lady – I haven’t seen her since, I still don’t have her confirmed

Patrick  – my doctor Irish guide

Mary – my sweet, loving, nun guide

Screen shot 2013-09-27 at 1.02.13 PMDavid – my beautiful curly hair guide

Also, I have been calling on the angels and archangels and the runners. I called on angels to help me with work, finding things I need, etc. I called on my runners (local helper spirits) to help me with parking, finding things in the house, etc and when I do I am soooo excited and I thank them. thank you 🙂

My guide Mary warned me about the attic – it was at a weird time and I didn’t know what she was referring to. Well, I finally scheduled a service to come out and guess what! I have rats in my attic, I would have never known and by the time you know it is too late and too much money. Now, I can at least investigate my options, get them out and seal the holes.

Patrick, my doctor guide, warned me about my health, eating, etc – I have started walking, eating healthier and stopped the coffee craze. I never thought my eating can be a health issue, I am overweight but it was always more of an image thing for me. Now that it is a health matter, I am determined to get back into shape. I also listened to a webinar discussing how overweight people have their brain affected by the fat (this is a medical proven issue) and I thought “oh hell no” 😉 I am not putting my brain power and overall health in jeopardy and not be able to do the things I love for food, it is ridiculous. Patrick, the doc guide, said that if I continue on this path I’ll get an autoimmune disease – yep, the kind they don;t have medication for. How about let’s not do that and I am starting a healthy lifestyle right now – I am going to also buy a juicer because it just feels right and I LOVE juice!

Viktor also mentioned that I have been thinking about getting sexier and that it was a good idea. Yes it is 🙂 Vitality is important and when you feel great, your energy is up, etc. I am working on it and I am for the first time excited. I noticed I am craving fruits and veggies more and for some reason I am eating less red meat, just sounds heavy…also, my body is craving less food and if I eat too much then I am not hungry for dinner and I can get away with a protein bar. I did ask my guides to help me with hunger and what I crave and I honestly believe they have – thank you.

The latest guide I met, David, came through the other night and then I got a WAVE of information – it honestly looked like a wave, a burrito of stuff. Inside, I could see text, Images, thoughts, etc. I felt like I was receiving info thorough multiple channels but it was so much that I could make sense of it. I did get a couple of things in the moment because I remember thinking “HA!” but I forgot them – so I did think/transmit back “TMI” lol – just kidding. I did communicate it was too much for me to grasp but I am thankful and grateful to him for trying and I ask him to please try again and start slower. I am excited to see what he’s sending.

I asked my guides/Viktor when I saw Michele (the medium) if they want to channel and they said not by taking over my body/voice type of thing. they said they are channeling all the time through my written questions, thoughts, etc. I think the thoughts for me are the most powerful…I get thoughts all the time but I feel like they are the hardest to discern. When you hear things you know, you see things, you know…you think things, well…? So I am working on trusting my thoughts and practicing that.

Example:

One morning I was getting ready and I had the thought of talking to my nanny’s granddaughter. My nanny was grandma-age when she started working for our family and she had a 12 year old granddaughter and a grandson my age. I am still in touch with them as I loved my nanny as my own grandma and she is with me oftentimes now that she passed and now that I am more aware. LOVE HER. So, I get that thought and I think “sure, I haven’t talked to her in a while that’s why i am thinking of her”. then I thought what if my nanny wants to tell her something so thought what would it be? and my next thought was “work less, spend more time with your daughter.” I thought nah, now I am really going off the deep end, that is obvious, it is what I think about all of us: myself, my friends, etc. but then I thought, ok, what if I am not making it up? If I did talk to her what would I tell her….something that nobody else would know but her? and I instantly got the color “red” – “red, looking at red, something red, red coat, something red to buy, for daughter maybe, red.” At this point I thought ok…whatever. I will call her to talk to her but not about this and I let it go – until I saw Michelle (medium) and I had to ask, to indulge myself. I told her the story and she said “yes, yes, and yes” you are correct on all your thoughts but she also said that doesn’t mean you should go calling her and telling her you talk to her dead grandmother hehe. Teri told me that there are different ways of bringing things up like “I think about your grandma a lot and how much she loves us” or “I often feel like she is here sending us love” or whatever generic comments you can make without being specific on details. That seems right to me for now.

When I was at the medium she also gave me exercises and I practiced on her – she would ask me questions and I would make up an answer…and she validated the things I was making up, it was really trippy. I don’t know how else to describe it.

Example:

She had me concentrate on a pineapple with all its details, etc. Then, she asked me to think of the first thing that comes to mind about her morning and ladybug came to mind. I didn’t want to say it because, really? I am just making things up so I told her that and she encouraged me. When I said “ok, this is totally something i made up but just so you know it was a ladybug and it makes no sense” she said: “actually, when I walked to my car this morning a ladybug landed on my arm so you are not making it up!” And there you have it – we did that with some info about her mom, etc. It was crazy and it 100% felt like I am just making it up, I said whatever came to mind.

Three lady family members and I are doing spirit circles once a month and we had the first one, it was a lot of fun – we each took turns asking questions and the others said whatever came to mind, just to practice and have fun. My sister-in-law actually saw two of my guides there, my Buddha and my David guide together with her guide and some others, it was really cool. I need to work on meditation, focus, etc to better tune in to them.

What else? I need to blog more often! 🙂 it is hard to remember it all a month later and then you end up with a loooooong blog you don’t want to screen for typos. Thank you for reading, stay in touch and let’s keep on awakening.

Much love.


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The fun continues :)

Yes, I am talking about channeling, clairvoyance, clairaudience and everything in between – not a lot I can share because as you figure it out, this is all NEW to say the least; but, I can log what happened recently because it was an interesting experience and I think this is the groundwork to what’s to come.

Things are continuing to come up and also everything is changing so fast – I seem to jump from angels to guides (one by one), to aliens, to seeing written text (sentences at a time) to hearing a voice – things happen at a slow pace with time to “adjust” in between…yet so fast if put in perspective. I am constantly on my toes, I never know what’s going to happen. Once I seem to figure something out, everything changes and something NEW happens. I don’t know if just as like with the guides when they were introducing themselves one by one, I am being exposed to different things one by one, it is possible…

One night, while asleep at about 3 am, one of the laptops started sounding funny – you know the fan sound that a PC laptop makes? like it is going to take flight off the table? that sound! On and off, on and off – enough to wake me to my “present” state when I know whats happening but my eyes are still closed.

Screen shot 2013-09-04 at 4.59.57 PMI then started seeing one word…first blurry and then it started becoming more clear. I could read the word clearly but I don’r remember it now and I forgot it by the morning; however, what’s important is that it was a full word, not just one letter. I remember thinking yay, progress, I can see words now. It was very exciting, full words are definitely easier than letter by letter.

The image I am using is random, it just symbolizes one clear word while others are blurry, etc. It was really calm and clear and COOL.

Afterwards I started seeing a full sentence, black on white. It looked like a typed up sentence on a small piece of paper, just long enough for one sentence – kind of like the typed up clues you’d get in school. It was a two-line sentence, black on white – it was typed but it looked like a handwriting font, clear, not too “scripty”

Screen shot 2013-09-04 at 5.04.49 PMIt was blurry in the beginning but it started to become more and more clear. It wasn’t small, it was large in my “horizon” or my “movie screen” or whatever you want to call my third-eye vision. As it became more clear, it moved in the center of my vision and it came closer and I could clearly both see the text and the fact that there was more behind it – much more – like entire written pages not just a sentence.

As the sentence became clear, I read it in my mind to make sure they know I am reading it. I kept thinking: you need to remember this, you need to remember this, you need to remember this and I was 100% sure it was an easy task as it was a simple sentence; however, I didn’t remember the exact wording. I remember the message but not the wording exactly.

We are ready to share our message with the world now

That’s the gist of what the sentence read. I don’t remember the exact words or order, I really should have written it down immediately but I could see there is a full page behind it and I thought I might get to see that next so I didn’t want to open my eyes and lose the connection. I was really excited  – you can imagine if I was excited about one word, how excited I was about a full sentence…not to mention seeing there is more. So, I was trying hard to stay there and not change anything by trying to record what I read but I had a thought that it wasn’t time. I needed help because I need to record myself reading the text or have someone there to remember, etc. There was no way I could read a full page and remember when I can’t even remember one sentence! Even though I was trying to pay attention, the computer fan was still making noise which I found very distracting so I was asking them to please stop the noise but by the time that happened, the text went away too; however, I did have a clear message that it wasn’t time because I had no way to remember, etc.

I also saw a bunch of mathematical equations in the middle of a piece of paper – things I don’t understand. You have to know I am not a science person and I probably would not distinguish between physics, chemistry or mathematical equations, it is all greek to me. But I remember seeing them very clearly and I could read them for someone to write them down if I wasn’t in bed at 3 am, with my husband, where I couldn’t record on my phone either. Can you imagine? “Sorry for waking you up, honey, I just have to record this message I am receiving from my guides” – yeah! maybe one day, who knows…not quite there yet! 🙂 This equation sequence is important to remember because it comes up again in the dream – see below.

I then went back to sleep and I had an interesting dream.

In my dream, my guide (not sure which one) incarnated and they were here, with me and they had the papers I was supposed to read with them. They were trying to show me something, to share something with me, and we were looking for a quiet place to sit down and to that.

It was really interesting because the world looked grim and strange – I remember going in somewhere, trying to sit down and read these papers she (my guide was in a human female body) wanted me to read. Inside we sat down and the other people were acting very strange (to me). They were wearing some sort of perishable toilet paper clothes and without interacting with them I could tell that they were always fixing their clothes, caring about their clothes or worrying about them. They were also running around doing “stuff” but to me they were not doing anything important, just running around; however, they seemed very caught into this running in circles and they were all doing the same thing. They didn’t see or care about us, they were very oblivious to the surroundings and they kept running around like chickens with their heads cut off only caring about their clothes, sex and what they thought they were doing. It was super interesting and in hindsight a metaphor of our life here, if asleep or caught up in day-to-day life. We worry about what we wear, keep buying various things from clothes to other things we don’t really need, we run around busy busy busy in circles, we worry about everything and we ignore some of the spiritual things right in front of us. They chose to wear toilet paper yet were annoyed about it and fussed with it continuously. Is it “bad”? No, nothing is bad, it is what it is but it was interesting to observe and eye-opening.

I don’t want to wear toilet paper clothes and run in circles over and over again obsessing about nothing of importance!

I want to read those papers, I want to know more, I want to be with my guides as much as possible, I want to explore, I love adventure. The noise and distractions and having a hard time to sit down is also representative of the fact that I find it hard to find time to be quiet – this all happens at night, etc. I have a family with a toddler, husband, a busy young business, etc – life gets in the way; running in circles wearing toilet paper gets in the way 🙂

My guide and I finally decide this is it, we will ignore them and look at the papers – they didn’t seem to care or notice us anyway. I looked at the papers and there were multiple pages of text I had to read. I then noticed some formulas on one page and thought uh-oh! What’s that? That is not text and I don’t k now what it means.

Screen shot 2013-09-04 at 6.58.29 PMIt looked like equations, math “stuff” I don’t know, understand or know how to read or interpret. My guide knew exactly what I was thinking and she told me not to worry! They wrote that for me and they will give it to me written – she said I don’t need to try to understand, or make sense of it, or remember it, because it will be given to me.

That was good to know because I really could not make sense of it other than there were three lines of it and it felt like they all went together – like it was one long equation or problem solution.

When I woke up, I knew – I got the same message, two different ways! My guides are trying to tell me/us something, they have a message – of this, I have no doubt. I am excited and nervous at the same time – how do I find the perfect setting for me to read this and record it or write it? Is this what channeling is? Could they channel through me directly so I didn’t have to try to remember? How would that work? What should I do, etc. Questions galore!

I then got the clear thought that regardless of the above I needed to schedule monthly meetings with three family members who are also very spiritual and are working with their guides and the spirit world. We all decided to meet up once a month at the same time in the same place and talk about these things and try to channel and see what happens – maybe if I am with them I can relax and get a message they can remember or help me write down – worth trying. I did try the next day to lay down and use my recorder for half an hour but I didn’t see anything 🙂

Last night I know I saw something (text) but I can’t remember it; however, something happened a week ago that kind of derailed me from this subject: I HEARD SPIRIT.

Hi!

“Hi,” he says, in a raspy male voice at 3 am in the morning while I am in a mountain cabin, in the dark, in the kitchen, getting milk for my daughter who could not sleep. Hi? I jumped out of my skin, literally, while getting a head to toe chill. I didn’t have time to react or explore because I was super freaked out and my daughter wasn’t well and I needed to be brave and just walk around in the dark and get her the milk. I wanted to shout for my husband so I had company… but honestly, what can he do and what can I tell him? “I want you here because I am afraid, I just heard a ghost?” hahaha – sure, that sounds quite sane, doesn’t it? I am sure there is a clinical diagnosis for people who “hear voices” and I don’t need to be considered crazy, this is just not mainstream right now but I know I am not crazy. This is real, as real as you and I…it will be less “coo-coo” in the years to come, I hope.

So who was it? Who said “hi”? Was it Sam, was it a dead relative, someone I knew or a random soul I don’t even know who lives at that cabin? OMG, who was it and WHY are they saying hi and how in the world can I hear them? Am I the only one who hears them? yikes, here we go again.

I don’t know who it was – I don’t have those answers yet. I will find out  – in the meantime, everybody thinks this is exciting because it is opening to clairaudience but it was freaky for me – anything new or unknown or “para-normal” is a bit scary the first time, just the scare of the unknown and the randomness of it! I didn’t expect it, who would? Would there be a better place or time or scenario for it? I have no idea…when is it a good time to hear a spirit for the first time, when you ask for it? Who knows? I just was taken by surprise.

So right when I thought he next thing I will experience will be more text, I get audio. What does that mean? I don’t know…same as with the guides, I kept seeing new ones every time but I think it is because they were introducing themselves and to them it is all continuous (time is not linear) even thought for me here there is time in-between my experiences, etc. Maybe just like with the guides, I am having a tune-up to all the senses one by one? I don’t know…possible. It does seem to me like I am jumping from one topic to another but this is how I am experiencing things – all is good, all is love, all is light.

I made the mistake of going to a “fortune teller” – yikes, I don’t think she was very good or evolved – she told me I have entities sucking my energy, some souls around me, etc but honestly I don’t think she got the big picture – the thought of hearing something to her was terrifying and “bad” so I think she was just “behind.” She also tried to get me to buy some “protective crystal”  – didn’t sound right.  I talked to both the medium and Teri and they both agreed that I don’t need anything outside of myself. I am powerful, I am in control, if I want something I can achieve it with the power of thought; consequently, my business is booming, changing direction and my right hand quit – everything happens for a reason and the ones that are not in congruency with my path will go away, it is what it is and how it should be.

I am very excited about all the new things and I am curious to see what’s next. We have our first sit down channel meeting next Tuesday – All of us are inexperienced and don’t know what we’re doing but we will do it every month and see what happens. I will keep you updated.

Everything I see now has a different meaning, all the author quotes read differently than before – I notice a lot of them had messages of light, higher purpose, etc, I never read (saw!) before. Pay attention to the quotes from famous authors, etc around you – you will see for yourself.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why – Mark Twain

I am in the process of finding out why – why did I choose to come here, now – what do I want to achieve, learn, do? I don’t remember, but I am trying to find out and I know I am on the right path – it feels right. I know there is MORE, I need to do more, help more, love more, live more. There must be a way I can help others, many others – someday, this will help someone. Until then I will keep relaxing, accepting and allowing.

Much love.


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Random stuff & alien love

These are some images I saw that I can remember – in no particular order, just logging.

At various times I saw a triangle, a circle, an “O”, a 6 point star, various geometrical shapes. I just saw this on the internet looking at something completely unrelated and it reminded me of something I’ve seen before:

 It was really interesting to me because I have seen this before – when I saw the star, it was moving – it was dynamic but you could clearly tell it was not a normal star, it did have six corners. the geometrical shapes/patters i see often, not sure what they mean.

This particular pattern is by a temple , this is what I found about it on the internet:

Kurama
Since ancient times, Mount Kurama has been said to be the home of the spirits known as “tengu.” And it is also known, in recent years, as the birthplace of “reiki”.
The Kurama Temple was built on the mountain summit with Sonten (energy from the universe) as its major deity. The power from the universe is said to be particularly concentrated in the center of the six-pointed star located in front of the main sanctuary.

Access to Kurama Temple : http://www.kyoto.travel/2009/11/kurama-dera-temple.html

I always wanted to travel to Japan – teleportation, here I come but the full experience would be nice too – I think it’ll happen, I just have to manifest it, right?

The other night, I was “sleeping” and I found myself giving love “heart to heart” to other beings but they were not human. It was really interesting and I need to ask the medium next time what this was, if it was “real” or if I made it up – not sure what happened but this is what I saw, thought…and I wasn’t really dreaming: I was giving a “heart-to-heart” love to 3 different kind of alien beings, two of them not so scary and one of them super scary for me (because in my personal opinion their bodies were super scary) but I did it anyway because I felt like I needed to.

I don’t know what this is all about – I did read something last week that aliens are here to help us and about unity and love among all and about the importance of welcoming the help and connection. SO, it could be that I am totally going crazy and making up stuff; however, I am logging it, should it make sense to me later. 🙂

So, I was giving love by going super close to their body and touching my heart area to their heart area and then touching their chest with my hand and I was thinking – “giving love”. Not sure why we were doing that – it felt right and I knew what to do, there was nothing else in my mind to be going, talking, or asking. Thinking back, it is a little weird because why would we just “meet” to touch chests? It is a little bizarre but that is honestly all I was thinking at the time – you have to give/share love…so that’s what I did. I wasn’t 100% comfortable…the first two were easier, I thought of them as humanoids although I knew 100% they were not human. The third one was kind of scary, I am super afraid of spiders and it looked like a spider to me or some sort of spidery insect but it wasn’t an insect, just looked like one (listen to me – what IS anything…anyway!!! hehe) – huge one – too many legs in any case. I caught myself feeling a little bad I was afraid and I thought it was ugly but I can’t help how I feel; however, I gave it the “heart-to-heart” anyway as it kept its legs open, it really wasn’t a big deal once I did it – these three beings came one by one although I was aware of all three at the same time at first, kind of complicated to explain. I don’t know how I knew what to do or why – it was just common knowledge in my “dream” that I was about to attempt to do that so I went with it – I do remember questioning it but more out of fear of “really?” than anything else.

The first “alien” had large dark eyes (that’s all I remember) – oh, one thing, I remember thinking that “I am taking love from the universe and transferring love, exchanging love, something about love…” – interesting, if anything else.  I wish it was all more clear but it is not – I just remember bits and pieces and I don’t really recall the before or after. My mind is playing tricks on me 😉

Are there aliens with big black eyes? maybe. Are there aliens that look like spiders? Maybe – who knows. All I know is that the love was important and we had a “heart connection.” Would I physically “in 3D” touch a 7 foot spider’s chest with my chest? haha – erm, I knew that even if I was afraid, it wasn’t going o “eat” me, I just had to get over the “look” – and if it was going to eat me so what…I certainly don’t believe in “lights out” so I’d be fine…but I didn’t feel in danger at all. It was only my perception of what I find unattractive, maybe “he” thought the same about my appearance.

I know I am supposed to trust what I do, what I think, what I feel, etc – I thought my guides are helping me with this although I didn’t see them – but I still don’t know what I am making up…so far I haven’t made anything up and everything was real and confirmed YET I still doubt things because every time it seems even more unbelievable – based on what my life seemed to be 2-3 months ago even. Can I conceive that I was exchanging love or giving love to various beings? sure…does it seem unbelievable, though? you bet!

I wish I understood more or knew more of what’s going on. 🙂 I was told before (by a guide through a medium) that I need to trust, be more patient and just practice more. I understand that, I just have SO many questions, I can’t help it sometimes!

This month I am working on using my connection to work on my business and to get pregnant – I need help with both these areas, need some guidance and assistance and I am excited to see where this will go. I might still try to go out in the mountains for some fresh air – that sounds like the right thing to do. I am working on using my power to manifest some things quick for me – I know I have the power, I just need to use it!!! We can all do it, we have a choice.

This week I also saw a lady, I think it was my “nun” guide, I saw her face, I don’t know what she was helping me, she might have been helping me with the love and heart-to-heart. this reminds me I don’t have names for all my guides…need to get that handled.

Screen shot 2013-08-21 at 9.57.34 PMI also saw a horse kind of eye – zoomed in although it felt it was alive so not like a drawing – I am not 100% it was a horse, could be a unicorn, love unicorns, no idea – but it was a horse-looking-eye I was just too close to see the entire body. Felt beautiful, smart and deep (meaning spiritually wise) whatever it was.

I will log more things as I remember them – I know there is/was a lot more but I have a hard time remembering things as I go about my life.

Another note for the week – writing more on my iphone notes – mornings and during the night as I realize what I still remember so I don’t forget days down the road. Also, I had a couple of dreams I woke up thinking “there was more there than just a dream” but I really can’t remember them :/ Sorry – if they come back I’ll log them and if not I will make the effort to note them before I go about my day because they really do disappear fast.

In the meantime, if anybody reads this and has any experience with alien love (lol) please leave a comment so I don’t feel like I am completely loosing it. It is definitely not something I can walk around mentioning to people, even to the ones I mentioned the guides to – this feels a little more “out there” for what people have experienced. It felt right and good so I’ll go with it – I know I wasn’t dreaming because the experience was exactly how meeting Sam felt so…let’s go with it. Validation does feel right/good though 😉

Much love.


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And then, there were six

When I started this Blog, this was just about meeting Sam – I had no idea that less than two months later I will be writing about six other guides? Light speed ahead, LET’S GO! 🙂 And everybody reading this is with me on this journey as I figure things out, learn and explore.

I love my guides, I am so happy they are here for me, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I talked to Teri – she is so cool – Teri are you smiling (hehe, I know she’ll read this at some point, lol – love you). She is so awesome, what would I do without her – I hope that some day I can help even just one person as much as she has and is helping me. Anyway, I was explaining to her how much it helped to go to the medium for reassurance that what I am seeing is accurate – or that my “thoughts” are accurate. Sometimes it just helps!

Last time I was logging that I wasn’t sure how many guides were around, etc – well, there are six – I had a “hunch” but didn’t trust it. I met some of them by myself and some I was told about but I haven’t seen yet very clearly.

1. Viktor – he is the highest guide – I met him first (after Sam) when I asked who is the highest guide available for a connection with me

2. Mike – I met him second, thick lips

3. Asian-looking guide – he reminded me of Buddha, I need to name him, I keep thinking of an “O” as a name, to be determined – the medium confirmed that Mike and the third guide are two separate entities

4. Mask lady – she wasn’t present at my session…the medium said she might not be available at the time, only 5 guides were present

5. A woman guide, a nun she described the medium – she said not in a religious way – she was helping me with patience and she had a message for me  – I am not sure if the nun is my mask guide/woman I previously saw but I didn’t think so. to be determined

6. A doctor – the medium described him as stocky(er) and I never met him before our session – he had a message for me

Sam is also always with me and also my nanny, grandma and someone on my mom’s side that I wasn’t able to recognize.

Because I have been dealing with a lot of personal human baggage last week, a lot of my session revolved around my husband and my decision to make it work, etc. My passed loved ones brought the whole thing up and they wanted to talk about it, something that I thought was going to be a greeting became a “we have to talk about your husband’s X” really fast. 😉 I guess they know I understand they’re always with me so it was different – even though I didn’t specifically try to communicate with them before, I have told them I knew they were here and I smell them sometimes, I know they are around. I think for that reason they felt the need to “dive right into it” – I will not go into my own personal human battles as that is my human life to sort out and those are my decisions to make, it is still personal; however, I do want to get into the GUIDES in this blog!

VIKTOR is the ring leader – I say that because I often see a “circle of love” with a V in the middle, kind of like a superhero logo so I imagine Viktor represented by the V symbol. 🙂 Sometimes right in the beginning I get a letter and I then know who is there. The medium said that Viktor is the highest guide I have and he is a very evolved being. Viktor is my white bearded guide, piercing blue eyes and philosopher robe – when V speaks, you listen (that’s how I feel, in a very loving way – I want to listen!). The medium said he was also communicating through my grandma and nanny so I am not sure if the husband talk was also in part related to the guides, etc. I imagine it doesn’t make it very easy for us to communicate when I am dealing with human upsets and my mind is clouded but it is part of my human condition and I am lucky I have Teri to help me work through them – goodness – don’t you just wish they’d tell you what to do, lol? 🙂 I have decided to let it be for now and relax – fretting about any issue is never the solution – be still – I intend to be still. I am going to take more time for myself and relax.

The nun guide had a message for me and that was to clean my closets – I was a bit confused as I didn’t understand but she was adamant that I needed to clean the closets – so I did but I didn’t “find” anything. I am not re-examining the message and I am thinking it can be one of two things (possibly) – either the hole in the ceiling in the garage that I was told has mold in it and it can be interpreted as an attic closet or the actual attic (nothing in there that i know of), or who knows. I will keep at it until it’ll make more sense.

She (the nun guide) also said I needed to be more patient with myself. She said I needed to PRACTICE MORE, which is so true and she said I expected everything to come to me immediately instead of give it time and practice. I agree – I keep wanting to find out everything – all of it NOW 🙂 I need to relax and take my time to practice a few times a week and not rush things but also spend time being quiet and allowing myself to be open. She has a lot of love for me and she has been with me through many lifetimes. At this point my medium said I was an old soul – fun – should have a lot of “movies” to see then when I go for past life regressions. 😉 For now, however, my goal is to work on this life and on my connection with spirit.

The guides also told me to take the nature trip I wanted to take for my birthday – I want to rent a quiet cabin and be out in the mountains relaxing – they thought that was a good idea and I feel a pull to go there and be relaxed and off of the “i” devices of all kinds. 🙂 I am also trying to add a translate button to this blog but I haven’t been successful – I do own a marketing company so I could have my coding guru do it for me but can I have a co-worker read this? hehe

Then, the doctor guide wanted to talk to me – he said I needed to start eating better and loose weight – how funny – who would have thought I would get so many ACTUAL messages. He was very clear in his message and he said that if I didn’t stop the carb-sugar eating habits I would develop an auto-immune disease. YIKES – I clearly don’t want that so I will be starting a clean eating program asap. I also have been having a clear thought that I needed to eat better but I usually brush it off as “I am having so much fun eating all the crap” – but I don’t believe I will be having fun with an auto-immune disease and I feel like not paying attention to the warning is my choice but it would be a pretty foolish choice. I want to be able to use my body for a long time and in order to help other people in this lifetime I need to be healthy and strong. I think sickness would consume my thoughts and efforts and I would have less time for my spiritual journey – we create our future. We have a choice – I will choose to be healthy so fresh and nutritious food, here I come…again. The difference is that I need to make a life choice not just a choice for right now.

I also have a clear feeling that this doctor can work through me, if allowed (to be developed and expanded on later – I read about that in “Opening to Channel”); however, I think for now he is trying to help me help myself. I need to take care of my body – we all need to take care of our bodies and eat clean.

Eating clean is not easy for me, I have to really try  BUT I will reprogram my brain to change that programming, I can totally do it (with Teri’s help)- I plan to use EFT for old habits and to program new ones, guided weight-loss meditations, exercise (walking and weights) and natural supplements to help me in my weight loss efforts. Since my appointment, I have seen the stethoscope too so the doctor guide is around me. I will ask them all for guidance and strength – I need to do this for myself, my daughter, family and for my spiritual journey. A clean body will support my efforts and will make it even easier for me to communicate with spirit. I’d like to note here (because I feel it) how emotional I sometimes get talking about them – I just feel SO MUCH LOVE, I don’t know how to describe it other than it is beautiful and it brings tears of joy to my eyes – who are these amazing beings who care so much about me? I love them so much and I am so thankful for their help. All of my thoughts about this have been messages I have been ignoring. TIME TO WAKE UP!!!

I have been having a rocky relationship with my mom – I judged her a lot in the past, we have very different views on many things but my journey and the spirits are giving me a different perspective and I feel so much love for her and so much acceptance. And the same goes for all my family members – I feel a deeper love for everybody, like the intensity just went up a notch for no reason – I appreciate them all more, I see all their good more, I like them more, I want to hug them more…it is funny – awesome. I still have the silly human thoughts and issues but overall my love feels more intense in a cool way.

So, my five out of six guides were all there – last time I saw the medium only Viktor and Sam (angel) were present. My journey is moving so fast, I sometimes find it unbelievable! I wonder how many people would read this and think I need to be hospitalized lol – I’d probably think I needed help should some of the things I am going through now have happened two years ago – the way I went primal feeling like I was going to explode out of my body and then the entire world, might not be considered “normal” behavior but guess what – the raging anger I felt made me realize my power – OMG I could move mountains. Bless Teri for being so helpful in explaining some of that and helping me understand my power. I am not crazy, I am waking up – look around – how beautiful, how much love and how much we can do – it is up to us. I choose to pay more attention – I choose to stop ignoring “my thoughts” and choose the path I want. I’ll be making adjustments as I go. 🙂

I have a TEAM OF GUIDES here to help me, to support me, to guide me – and I have my angel and I have my passed family members, they are all around to help – having the love of all of these amazing beings is overwhelming. I am on my path…goal: practice more. They told me I needed to practice so I will try to pay more attention and ask questions during the day too and maybe I will practice with readings for a couple of loved family members to see what happens. I will also ask questions at night and see what happens (remembering I cannot read for myself because my own human feelings and desires get in the way!).

One thing: the medium said she felt (at the time) that I wan’t going to have another child and I freaked in my mind – this is not true (I thought). It might be the true future she could see at that moment in time because of what I was thinking about my relationship and wanting to wait, work on it first, etc BUT that being said, knowing that is a possibility for one of my future versions, I intend to turn that around PRONTO so time to get busy!!! Let’s prove this “creating your future” business right now. I 100% believe there are multiple versions of the future and the final “reality” depends on what we choose – I think I have a very small window of opportunity for a kid and if I wait like I was going to (and work on other things first) I will miss it and it is irreversible for my body – it is what I feel – and I don’t want that – SO, let’s test my theory. At that place in time, I was going to have one kid – let’s see what happens with her prediction next time I go based on my actions from now until next month – stay tuned. Time to play with my power of intention, creativity and love.

And should I not have another child – my spiritual journey will go even faster – either way, I will be working with spirit and growing, learning, practicing – very exciting. I want to make it clear that for some reason, regardless of what will happen, I feel it is ok. I never felt that way in my life 100%, it always took a bit more work with Teri or they would be upsetting before Teri (should we refer to my life as BT and AT?) hehe – the thought that I can do anything and create anything yet not resist or be too upset about things that happen to be a certain way. I can’t explain what is happening any other way than issues seem less important, “problems” are easier to work through and love is more intense. And I am very excited for all of us. I have to translate this blog! 🙂

I feel like there was so much more I wanted to say – excuse blabbing and mistakes – I am not a writer, these are just my thoughts.

Much love.


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And then there were 3, no 4…wait!

I always think I have “no update” but when I actually sit down to write I realize there are quite a few things I haven’t logged and many more that I just forget  after a few hours or don’t remember at all. Teri suggested a notebook by my bed to write questions in at night and answers when I wake up – I have been using my phone notes instead, works so far, we will see. I have logged some things but forgot to log days, etc.

I have my guide’s names now – I asked them and they either gave them to me or we made up acceptable names that felt right together – whatever the answer is, the bearded older guide is Viktor and the other guide with the thicker lips is Mike or Michael. I am very happy to have names so I thanked the guides. (also I met yet another guide – the first woman I saw…details below)

I also saw an asian looking “person” (i didnt get a gender – i thought both genders or just neutral) sitting with their legs crossed, hands together and holding light – the light – then as I kept watching it seemed like there wasn’t just one pair of hands but many many sets of hands holding the light – it felt very peaceful.

Last week I went through some personal human drama – I was so MAD that I had to figure out how to go primal before I could even begin to EFT or release my upsets – so, I go to my bedroom and I let it out. I was punching the bed and pillows as hard as I could while screaming as loud as I could in my comforter and crying and just letting my rage out – I was a caveman (I am actually a woman now/here)…until I felt like a vein in my head popped – not kidding, super strange and it hurt so I stopped going crazy. I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I actually busted veins around my eyes (on the outside of the eye, visible through my skin). I know I did something to the thick forehead one but I can’t see anything on the outside so I am assuming it is ok. I’ve done anger release like this before but I don’t think it was ever as raw and I honestly feel like I could use energy to explode out of my body – the medical equivalent of what I see in my mind might be a stroke and not as “cinematographically” beautiful but I feel like I have the power to do that so I had to calm myself down as I have more playing to do here and it wasn’t my goal to hurt my body – I simply just let it go and I was surprised at the intensity. I don’t do well with dishonesty and that’s what my human drama was wrapped in so I went a little nuts.  I asked my guides for help and I have been releasing and working on myself and apart from a super sore shoulder and busted veins under my eyes I am ok 😉

That night, I turned to my guides and I asked about my “drama” and for some guidance. I then had a dream. It was really elaborate and I don’t want to detail it more than to say it was on the topic but I didn’t really understand what the guidance was…it was not clear to me because it was just telling me what I already knew – that I had to choose what to do – and that might have very well been my message. I understand that it is hard to “read” for yourself when feelings, etc get in the way and I also understand the guides are not here to stop us from learning our lessons. Issues with trust in relationships have had a pattern in my life so trust and forgiveness, etc could very well be something I am working on in this life. I am making my choices – and the #1 choice is to not explode out of my body when angry lol – I still need it on this planet 😉

Because I feel so powerful and when I was channeling my anger I literally did physical damage, I think I’ll be more careful in the future with going primal – clearly I have no trouble accessing feelings 😉

The following night I was still struggling with my forgiveness and I asked for help. At first I got a quick V and that’s normally what I see for Viktor so I assumed, ok, V is “coming on” – but I then saw an asian male face – kind of like Buddha, he reminded me of Buddha – he had thinner lips and a fuller face and it felt asian even if I don’t specifically remember studying the eyes. I don’t know what to make of it – I don’t know if this is part of Mike whom I only remember lips from or someone else? Is this tied with the hands holding light I saw that were also asian in my mind? I don’t know.

I then saw the light out in the horrizon and I then saw a female jaw line and then face, semi-profile – I immediately thought to myself “she is here to help me with my husband trust issues” that I asked for. I kept looking and then she had a mask on – not a weird mask but a fancy expensive half face (eyes only) venetian looking mask – a simple, beautiful, porcelain, white and blue eye mask. I thought to myself this is weird, am I seeing this ok? Then, after I did see the mask by itself so yes it was a pretty lady mask and the face I saw was a woman. So who is my mystery woman? Is she another guide? I also got an “O” so I don’t know if that has to do with her name or something else – I just want to keep it logged so I can come back to it if it makes sense later.

So now I have Sam (my angel), Viktor and Mike, the two guides (Mike is still to be confirmed), the asian Buddha look-alike (is this Mike or someone else?), and the woman with a mask. So there are either 4 or 5 of them and I only have Sam and Viktor (angel and higher bearded guide) confirmed by the medium – the new ones are new connections. I do know, however, that I have been saying my affirmation before I go to bed and only allowing spirits of the light of higher development than me. I will let you know as I find out who my new “contacts” are.

I am amazed at how fast this is really developing – two months ago I didn’t have anybody and now I need to write them down and really pay attention. I need more information and it is fun. I will try not to get wrapped up in any human “stuff” this week and focus on healing my body, resting, and getting back to exploring my connections with higher spirit. I don’t think exploding will help anything other than get me to the light faster 😉 hehe

I have the feeling there are 6 of them right now, 6-7. I don’t know if that includes Sam, I assume so. If that is so, then I haven’t yet met them all – maybe they’re taking turns introducing themselves and showing me how I will distinguish them? That’s what makes sense – I will confirm and make more sense of it.

On the boots on the ground agenda: working on the new business direction; attracting the right clients; attracting wealth – creating the life and business I want to have. I am close, so close – my only challenge is allowing for greater abundance, I still find myself have doubts BUT I am using the Magic by Rhonda Byrnes as guidance and I know I’ll succeed, it is just a matter of time and doing my homework – GRATITUDE.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Much love