Meeting Sam

a spiritual journey


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The context

Before I tell you about meeting Sam, I have to tell you a little bit about my environment. I have been working with Teri for a while now, things are always great when she is around.

1. I can sometimes feel my grandma and nanny’s love around, I get a beautiful love feeling – sometimes I smell something that reminds me of their bodies (I have “mommy” smells I identify with them like a baby) and other times I just get a thought, a feeling of sheer love that brings me to tears and I send them love back – I miss them and I love thinking about them. I just love them SO much.

2. At the same time, a little bit of my anxiety about “others,” not being alone, watch over my shoulder, dark and quiet, being alone, etc came back. I thought “oh dear”  – need to do some EFT and get rid of that memory of fear or new fear, etc.

3. Around the same time, some of my family members were talking about feeling like a dead loved one was trying to talk to them, dreaming about them, feeling like they need to see a medium. Another family member mentioned seeing a ghost and described the experience (this did not help my anxiety) 😉 Now I thought, ok, I really need to EFT.

4. Around the same time, while I was in my bathroom showering, I saw a silhouette out the corner of my eye. I jumped out of my skin – I know there was “something” there. I have no doubt but I didn’t know who, what – I had a strong feeling that it was a woman and that it was a loving presence, I didn’t feel bad although I was very scared. I proceeded to tell “it” that I was really scared and that I need to be left alone because I nearly skipped a beat. I communicated that although it might be easier to communicate if I have a heart attack, I don’t think that’s the best approach and didn’t think that was their intention so “back off.” (I later found out it is technically “my fault” I can see or feel them and that I should not be so harsh – working on it but I also have boundaries!)

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The following days, I kept feeling anxious, there was something I needed to do  – so, I asked for the medium’s phone number and I decided to go and have an EFT session and see if any big issues come up that I want to clear, etc and also see if I needed to talk/connect to someone, specifically, in which case I can schedule another appointment.

During the session, I mention my fear and I start to tell her about my dream, my feelings, my life and she immediately tells me: honey, you are clairvoyant. I thought, ok, whatever! 🙂 How do I make this anxiety go away, lets just do some quick eft and forget about it but there was just too much going on in my life at this point for me to let it go – I didn’t want to do EFT, I wanted to know more. I just had a feeling that I needed to do something, I was willing to at least think about it.

Background: I haven’t meditated one minute in my life and I never tried to have any kind of non physical experience – until now, this is something that happened “to me” and thus it was terrifying. I couldn’t talk about it, what can I make of it? I am afraid of the dark? Teri was the only one who has been able to explain what was happening and give me tools to help with my fear.

I was told (by the medium) I had an option – I could either open up, try to make a connection and meet my spiritual guide and align my chakras OR decide it is not for me and close some of my chakras for now. Closing would keep my awareness of non physical energies low and thus help with my anxiety. I was assured, however, that nothing around me was “bad” – my homework was to decide yes or no and I was just a bit confused, uneducated and out of my league to even begin to know what I wanted to do. what does yes mean? is saying no, selfish? I was curious yet scared…what was happening and why now, why me, what am I supposed to do? Luckily, I have Teri (see the post about meeting Teri), who always brings me back to reality and to my NOW. she makes it easy for me to relax and be able to make decisions from a place of love, creativity and joy.

After a few days I decided that I did want to be open, I did want to make a connection. I may not have the time (at this particular point in my life) to take a lot of classes, meditate daily and really immerse myself into this practice BUT I am open to my personal guide and to things that can be beneficial to me and my loved ones. Teri gave me an affirmation to help with boundaries until I go back to see Michele and then it happened…I met Sam!

I guess Sam didn’t want to wait until my next medium visit, nor did I need to know how to meditate, try to connect or do anything special like open my chakras or get introduced (not that those things don’t help!) – it simply happened because I think he knew I was ok with it at this point and we were ready for the first connection – it was the most amazing yet weird yet beautiful thing I ever experienced and there are no words to describe it; however, I will do my best to put my experience in words in my next blog.

Much love.


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Meeting Teri

I know, my blog is about meeting Sam but we can’t get to Sam without meeting Teri first – everything happens for a reason 🙂

About three years ago, my sister in law heard about a diet program  – we all signed up and that is how I met Teri. The program at the time was called lovely, lively, and lean and it was really cool for me because this wasn’t a “diet” – I felt better, happier and more alive at the end so when Teri told me about her coaching, I was all over it.

There is a lot I could write about my work with Teri but I would need another blog to say the least. She transformed the way I live and see life as a whole – she took me from a stressed out, fearful, workaholic with no time to spare to the way I am today – loving my life, excited about learning, expanding, etc. The work is never done and she never gives up because her compassion for the human condition is admirable.

When I started working with Teri I thought a few sessions would “fix me” but I soon realized that I am nowhere close to being done. It is hard to explain what she does because she does so much but if I were to try I’d say that she guides me to the happiness I am capable of creating. Teri opened my eyes to the fact that I don’t have to suffer, I don’t have to be afraid and I don’t have to leave in the past, the future or in anybody else’s business. She helps keep me grounded and in the NOW – the present is what I have control over and with a lot of patience and a lot of love she has been gently guiding me to the light. 

I am forever grateful that I went on that “diet” and my life hasn’t been the same. One of the first things Teri and I worked on was my fear of the dark and of “other stuff” in my space (empath training 101) – see the blog about my childhood, it had been 29 years of having this inexplicable fear. sometimes it would be crippling – I would not want to be quiet or be in the dark; I would not want to walk from my bed to the bathroom, I would not want to be alone or sleep alone, it was the worst at night when things were quiet…I was anxious.

Through EFT, Sedona and other release methods, Teri helped me feel better, get rid of the intensity, etc but at the same time she explained what was going on, what I was feeling and why. For the first time, I felt safe. I wasn’t crazy and I knew I can get help.

For the next few years Teri worked with me on everything from attracting wealth & business to the fear of giving birth, to the smallest little issues and upsets that would get in my way of being relaxed and present. I could always count on her to shine light on the truth and help me see outside of my upsets, stories, and programming.

Slowly, I started feeling happier, more relaxed and more efficient – who knew I actually had time to have fun, enjoy my life and create the life I wanted to have? Who knew I have all the power to make a difference, that life doesn’t happen “to me”? Who knew my YESs are the same as my NOs? I had options, choices and control – I could live in the present yet create my future and yet it sounded easy, it is incredibly hard.

A recent example is practicing the Magic by Rhonda Byrne – easy, simple exercises – reading them I thought “that’s it? This is easy!” Yet doing them every day for 28 days proves to be a bit harder than anticipated – who do we find it hard to accomplish simple tasks that will increase the quality of our life? The Magic was the latest exercise I did before meeting Sam (when I got a bit distracted), and I intend to attempt it again – 28 days, 28 happy days, 28 grateful days for an even better life. How exciting 🙂

Thank you, Teri, for all your help and for all the help you will continue to give me – what would I ever do without you? If you wonder who Teri is, you can find her here: http://www.accesstheedge.com and yes, you need her, she ROCKS!

Much love.


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Train Ride

After high school, on my way to the sea side, on the train, I had an interesting encounter.

The train ride is 12 hours to get to the sea side and there were three people in my compartment including me. One of them went on to be my summertime romance while the other (an older guy) made some pretty interesting comments.

The young guy and I were talking and flirting and when we got down by the sea/delta area the old man got off the train – right before, he said: “when you’ll see deer in the sun flower field you’ll be happy”

We thought he was completely out of his mind because deer don’t live by the sea (nowhere close actually) and we were a good 5 hours away from any area where deer would live. So we laughed it off talking about the crazy old man as he got off the train. About an hour later, we were both in the window, enjoying the morning air in anticipation of our arrival and we saw A DEER – in the sun flower field!!! We both saw it, and I instantly got a full body shiver as I realized both that a deer cannot be there (no intelligent explanation) and that what the crazy old man said came true. Deer live up in the hills and mountains and we had been riding through flat plains for hours and hours – there is no way anybody would believe what we saw.

Both of us were pretty shook up after that and we kept talking about it but soon we let it go and it became our little secret – it became something that tied us together – something that only the two of us knew. We used to bring it up once in a while and remember how incredibly weird the whole experience was.

My perfect summer romance was just what the doctor ordered to help me get over the story from the “clairvoyant dream” post.

Nothing like deer in a sun flower field.

Much love.


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A clairvoyant “dream”

Fast forward – I grew up with the fear of the dark and the comforter over my head routine and I am now 18. I am completely in love with my boyfriend of three years and I am holding on for dear life, knowing it is not working out – I am resisting listening to my intuition or higher guidance and I decide to be stubborn and hang on in the hopes to change this guy and make him see me as the center of HIS life.

Ever since I can remember I’ve always wanted to be in a serious relationship…even though I was young. But I was forcing it.

Long story short, we are at a party and we are drinking, etc – my boyfriend at the time is flirty (by nature) and I decided it might be a good idea to leave. Around midnight, he drives me home, we lovingly part ways, and he goes “home.” I go to bed and I all of a sudden start experiencing his reality while sleeping. I am with him yet he is not aware.

He went back to the party, drank heavily, flirted and danced and made out with someone and didn’t quite make it home as he said he would. I wake up in the morning from what seems to be a long dream and I am horrified. I am convinced at this point that I am completely nuts and that my paranoia about his behavior made up this dream; however, I am so anxious that I just have to call one of my best friends to see “how the party was.”

Guess what: my fried proceeded to tell me everything that happened and the more he explained, the more I felt sick to my stomach. Everything I dreamt was 100% true.

I never told my friend about my dream (for obvious reasons) and I soon let it go because in my teenage experience the heartbreak and abandonment that I had to deal with at that point took all of my energy and my experience didn’t seem important. My mind make it all about this person and about the love I had lost, I wasn’t seeing the bigger picture – I had a vision! Whether I saw the future or the present unfolding at a different location is irrelevant to me as I was not trying to “see” anything; however, I have been wondering about this guy and this was my answer.

My hurt, heartbreak, moving across the world alone and college experience took over the next few years of my life.


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Childhood

Have you ever felt/thought there’s someone in the room? There IS! 🙂

Growing up, I was always afraid of the dark and of being alone. I always felt like “the boogie man” is going to get me. I had a funny anxiety and I was just afraid of the dark, I was never sure why as nothing ever happened to me – I had a lovely childhood and no reasons to be afraid.

When I expressed my fear I was reassured that nothing was “wrong” that there was “nothing there” and that it must be that I heard too many stories – little did my family members know that even at that age I could feel (and be aware) of much more that they could comprehend.

I never knew it back then but looking back, I could always feel “others” – I always had a sensitivity do different energies and who it was at the time is irrelevant.

It took more than 25 years to fully understand two things: I am not crazy & there is no reason to be afraid!

Even though the unknown can be scary at first because of our programming and society, with the right affirmations, intentions and boundaries, tapping in to the spirit world is quite beautiful and uplifting.