Meeting Sam

a spiritual journey

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A “virtual” hug

I got a hug from Sam the other night – yep…I know it sounds crazy but here’s what happened:

My husband and I were going to bed and even I said “hey can you give me some huggies, I need hugs” knowing my husband doesn’t like to sleep on that side. He usually sleeps on the side that positions him with his back at me and that has always been his comfortable side. So he gives me the “it is late, you know I am not comfortable on that side” response and he goes to bed.

As I am preparing for sleep, I read my affirmation “I am more that my physical body, etc,” turn the lights off and go to bed saying hi and good night to Sam. I then think, hey, lets rehearse our symbols: ant for working hard, coins for making/winning money, etc. As I finish going over them, I think – hey! How about a symbol for a hug? or for hugs? I feel such love for Sam thinking that he is there for me, to help, to guide…how about hugs?

So I keep trying to come up with something that makes sense – open arms…nothing sounded right as I keep thinking about the perfect hug symbol to communicate. While, I am doing this, all of a sudden, my husband puts his arm around me and says “I am giving you a long distance hug” and I instantly got a chill and I knew it was from Sam – holy crap! It was crazy, crazy cool.

Now, I am not saying that Sam took over my husband, nor am I saying that I know how it happened but it doesn’t matter – all I know if that one way or another my husband felt the need to do that and say that knowing I needed it and asked for it. The fact that he said “long distance hug” is something else but it is what it is 😉

I knew what happened so I started crying because I was so happy and so overjoyed and because sometimes a hug is all you need. I don’t mean to make it seem like my husband and I don’t hug, that is not the case – but I was just in one of those needy moments when something as simple as a hug meant a lot. It also meant Sam can influence a little more than the images I see while “sleeping”

So I am crying while trying not to cry (obviously!) because I don’t want to have my husband thinking I am crying and ask me what is going on…so I was able to settle down but that was big.

It was a hug from one of my cosmic soul-mates, a soul that is here, in this lifetime as my guardian angel…a hug that transcended centuries, physical death, energy planes and my overall understanding – it was so much more than a hug, and I knew instantly that is why I felt emotional. I was connecting to something way beyond the physical act of a hug. I felt the pure essence of LOVE and it was overwhelmingly beautiful. I felt happy and blessed that I was able to experience such love – I felt like I took a universe love bath and all in one simple gesture.

Update: for the past couple of weeks or so my husbands’ sleeping preferences have changed. He all of a sudden sleeps on his “uncomfortable” side all the time and he also hugs me at night and in the morning a lot and on a regular basis without me asking – this is a change and I know he is not consciously trying. He is simply (at an energy level) adjusting to my energy and to what I wanted, it is really funny to notice this change in him after 9 years of sharing a bed. He also told me twice in one week that he thought my jokes are funny, he thought “I was on a roll” and I wasn’t trying nor was I funnier than before. It is a clear switch and I am convinced it has to do with my energy work.

It was/is beautiful, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Much love.

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Images and feelings

I have been asking Sam to help me make the connection to a high level guide when it is time – whether that is soon or in 20 years, it makes no difference to me because I know all I do is good and things are moving in the right direction.

Now that I understand more of what is going on I am not afraid of asking and exploring.

One night I saw a really cool string of universes – all stacked on top of each other and all connected. It was really beautiful, I don’t know what it means and I don’t have much interpretation other than I saw it as a whole and it was way bigger (meaning vaster) than anything I can comprehend, that was my feeling.

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Later when talking about it I kept googling things and I found this – it is the closest thing to what I saw. I got this from this link:

What I saw, however, even though had the same idea behind it, it was way bigger – the layers didn’t look like jelly fish, they looked like a universe.

So picture the image of the universe, duplicated over and over and stacked while connected…I did feel like some levels were higher, just like in the photo – it was horizontal. Majestic. It felt like time stood still and it was just a really cool thing that is hard to describe.

I didn’t get a feel of what it meant, where I was or belonged or any ideas – I simply observed and thought it was beautiful and cool.

Another time I saw a funny looking “dog” – i didn’t know what to make of it, I just saw it, it was white and it had a really long neck, skinny neck – different than anything I have ever seen.

I need to draw a “masterpiece” stick figure of it for you to see but basically imagine a merge between the herbivore huge dinosaur with the long skinny neck and a mid size dog in white – that is what I saw – again, no reason, I have no interpretation.

I want to make sure I state again: this is just my journal – I am just logging my experiences. Things don’t necessarily make sense or even have a meaning right now.


Parenthesis: How will I ever tell my husband about Sam, my angel? Can you even begin to imagine that conversation? I “talked” to Sam – he is an ex husband…nope, haven’t been married before. He is a husband from another life and he is my guardian angel….YEP, still working on that talk, I wonder if there will ever be a good time to “be honest”

For now, I believe we all have the right to have certain spiritual things/experiences private. Most things we experience together – this, I experience alone as it is part of my spiritual work. That is the truth for this particular moment…things can always change based on my feelings, etc. I have no problem telling him I am working on spiritual things but I don’t have to do a play by play and give too much detail if I feel someone is not quite ready yet.


A few times while in bed I felt a different kind of energy around me – I am convinced it was a higher guide because it just felt different than what I have ever experienced. One time I felt a lot of funny energy all around my spine up and down and not like a chill (those are usually my yes-es), it was energy work, like chakras, something different I don’t understand but I think I was being “worked on” lol – I know it sounds weird and borderline coo-coo bird but I am convinced something was going on because I have been asking for a higher guide connection and I have been asking Sam to help tune me up…I think that wasn’t my thought but my intuition about what was happening. I don’t know any specifics but I do intend to have my chakras checked for various reasons and because I am even more curious to see how balanced (or not) they are now.

Drama has been a lot different after I met Sam – I just see it differently, I have been upset less and things seem to affect me less. Very interesting – I like it…I am continuing to observe that.

My outlook on my business changed – I shifted from wanting to please to doing things I like and I am getting to bid on different kinds of clients now…I really think I am in the right direction, I am being more creative and not worrying about saying yes just because someone wants to hear it. Teri and I are constantly working on this, I am so grateful to have her as a constant force of light and balance…she has always kept me in check, even when I was completely slimed with negativity but now more than ever she is helping me just be and allow my experiences to happen.

The other day I was talking to Teri and I was telling her – I feel like I am supposed to do something, something more, something bigger…..SOMETHING. I said “I know I will figure it out” and as soon as I said that I had another thought “I know it will come to me when the time is right” and I said it out loud and immediately corrected myself – Teri was just about to correct me the same way – that was not “my thought” – it was either my higher self, or Sam or…it was me, it was them, it was all of us – it was the truth! There is nothing to “figure out” – everything will just happen if you relax.

Feeling hopeful and excited 🙂

Much love.

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A new language

After my appointment and after setting the symbols for working hard (ant), money, etc. I called my sister-in-law on my way home to tell her all about this – she was very excited to hear about my meeting and I laid it all out.

We started talking about life and our higher purpose and being in this together and I said – what if before coming to this life a bunch of us decided to do it together and to try to be more awake? We were also talking about her doing a lot of meditation and reading some books and we we were talking about this I drive by a truck that had the biggest ANT on it! Together with seeing the ant, I got a full body chill and confirmation that Sam wants to tell me that my sister-in-law has and is working hard at awakening and learning about this subject. I interrupted her and communicated that to her and it was a really cool moment because I felt like we are learning a new language. It seemed slow but it worked.

I didn’t mention anything about my Vegas exercise. That night, I knew they were in Vegas betting and I closed my eyes and said, ok Sam…coins for winning and empty pockets for losing… and after a little bit I said – tell me if she is winning or loosing and as my thought is barely finishing I hear the announcer on the TV go “right on the money!” as I got a chill and confirmation that was for me.

WHAT! How can that be, I thought. Didn’t I just state the symbol options? lol.  Apparently Sam decided to use something else – maybe because I was thinking earlier “OMG if I have to come up with some image symbol for every single thing, this will take a while!!!” – but apparently he did it differently and it was confirmed, they did win. Even though it seemed pretty crazy and incredible, I had no doubt that message was for me because I was intently thinking I wanted an answer. Also, from my experience with Sam so far, he doesn’t do what I tell him yet he still gives me the message…funny!

At the medium I also asked guidance on my new babysitter and she said have Sam show you red for no and pink for yes. When I got home, my babysitter was with my daughter next to a huge pink toy and my daughter was also in pink (which was not what she was wearing earlier) – I decided that was a yes. In the beginning it is hard to decide if you are imagining things or not but so far I get the impression my messages are pretty clear when I ask.

I set meetings with Sam and I showed up and tried to relax and meditate but it didn’t really work – just like when I was at the medium trying to imagine different things, it felt forced and different. Our connection was so simple before, when I was really trying, I wasn’t getting it. My feeling now is that both Sam and I don’t like the forced settings, we usually just connect without effort and this imagining stuff and meditating 101 is making it awkward. again, this is a personal opinion – I am not saying that doesn’t 100% work for others or in some situations; however, for me…it has been a lot easier and natural.

For the first meeting, I was ready and I laid on the couch and closed my eyes – I kept thinking I needed to go upstairs and lay down so I am comfortable and can nap. I wasn’t feeling well, I had a bad cold and I was tired. I kept resisting the thought to go up but it wouldn’t go away. Then I thought…Sam, do you want me to go up? I got a clear tingle on my wrist…I thought nah…I am imagining this so I thought again: if this is you do the tingle again…and it happened again. So, thinking “I can’t believe I am doing this” I went upstairs in the bedroom and took a nap – I felt so comfortable in my bed and I woke up after 2 hours feeling much better and rejuvenated. I didn’t get any messages other than that and I really think the message was “go rest!” because I got this cold after being so tired from missing sleep on the night I met Sam. So I napped and felt great 🙂

The second meeting I was trying to meditate and I asked questions in my mind like “do i have a high level guide who wants to talk to me?” – I got a yes…my yes is a positive chill. I also got a yes for “should I do a blog”

When I felt frustrated because I didn’t think much was happening I immediately started thinking “be patient, don’t rush, you have all the time” – these are too kind and I know they were not “my thoughts”

I have a clear feeling that I should love myself because my angels, guides, etc love me.

The few other scheduled meetings were “pfff” nothing special and I decided this schedule thing is not for me – we connect at all times, random times, effortlessly and without planning – so I decided I don’t need the planning.

I saw a couple of interesting things at night and while sleeping so I will talk about those in my next blog and we will be up to date soon so I can start blogging only as things happen – documenting was always my intention, I just needed to catch up. Also, “I keep thinking” that I need to catch up documenting before I can move on so in case that is not my thought, let’s get it done. For whatever reason, I am 100% sure I am supposed to write things down before I can dive into more.

When the idea of writing something was clear and came over and over again, I asked about it and I could see script handwriting – it didn’t make much sense because I never write by hand but it does remind me of a 1800s diary – or letters – handwriting so I thought…oh, thats what I was thinking, confirmation. That is why/when I really decided on a blog as my diary. It was so sweet and romantic – I can see myself in an 1800s English garden relaxing and writing by hand while smelling the roses.

Next, I will blog about a couple of cool images I received because I want to record them in case I ever need to come back to them – maybe they will make more sense later, etc. Really cool.

Much love.