Meeting Sam

a spiritual journey


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A “virtual” hug

I got a hug from Sam the other night – yep…I know it sounds crazy but here’s what happened:

My husband and I were going to bed and even I said “hey can you give me some huggies, I need hugs” knowing my husband doesn’t like to sleep on that side. He usually sleeps on the side that positions him with his back at me and that has always been his comfortable side. So he gives me the “it is late, you know I am not comfortable on that side” response and he goes to bed.

As I am preparing for sleep, I read my affirmation “I am more that my physical body, etc,” turn the lights off and go to bed saying hi and good night to Sam. I then think, hey, lets rehearse our symbols: ant for working hard, coins for making/winning money, etc. As I finish going over them, I think – hey! How about a symbol for a hug? or for hugs? I feel such love for Sam thinking that he is there for me, to help, to guide…how about hugs?

So I keep trying to come up with something that makes sense – open arms…nothing sounded right as I keep thinking about the perfect hug symbol to communicate. While, I am doing this, all of a sudden, my husband puts his arm around me and says “I am giving you a long distance hug” and I instantly got a chill and I knew it was from Sam – holy crap! It was crazy, crazy cool.

Now, I am not saying that Sam took over my husband, nor am I saying that I know how it happened but it doesn’t matter – all I know if that one way or another my husband felt the need to do that and say that knowing I needed it and asked for it. The fact that he said “long distance hug” is something else but it is what it is 😉

I knew what happened so I started crying because I was so happy and so overjoyed and because sometimes a hug is all you need. I don’t mean to make it seem like my husband and I don’t hug, that is not the case – but I was just in one of those needy moments when something as simple as a hug meant a lot. It also meant Sam can influence a little more than the images I see while “sleeping”

So I am crying while trying not to cry (obviously!) because I don’t want to have my husband thinking I am crying and ask me what is going on…so I was able to settle down but that was big.

It was a hug from one of my cosmic soul-mates, a soul that is here, in this lifetime as my guardian angel…a hug that transcended centuries, physical death, energy planes and my overall understanding – it was so much more than a hug, and I knew instantly that is why I felt emotional. I was connecting to something way beyond the physical act of a hug. I felt the pure essence of LOVE and it was overwhelmingly beautiful. I felt happy and blessed that I was able to experience such love – I felt like I took a universe love bath and all in one simple gesture.

Update: for the past couple of weeks or so my husbands’ sleeping preferences have changed. He all of a sudden sleeps on his “uncomfortable” side all the time and he also hugs me at night and in the morning a lot and on a regular basis without me asking – this is a change and I know he is not consciously trying. He is simply (at an energy level) adjusting to my energy and to what I wanted, it is really funny to notice this change in him after 9 years of sharing a bed. He also told me twice in one week that he thought my jokes are funny, he thought “I was on a roll” and I wasn’t trying nor was I funnier than before. It is a clear switch and I am convinced it has to do with my energy work.

It was/is beautiful, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Much love.


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My guardian angel

I met Sam two days before I was scheduled to go in and tell the medium I was working with if I wanted to turn my spirit awareness on or partially off.

I was so anxious and excited to tell her about my Sam.

I went in with my silly drawings because I wanted to show her my visions – I also wanted to remember them for myself, I thought it was important to document. (big blog parenthesis – this applies to the entire blog – I am not sure what or why I am doing the blog but I know the reasons for now are that I need to write it all down for myself to be able to remember and access anytime AND I want to share it with people who might experience something similar and think that are crazy. I am not sharing this with my family, close friends or husband…this is my journey and I am very much at the beginning so I am not sure where it will take me. I don’t know what will come of it, I am learning and exploring and as the title says…this is a journey. I might decide to share my journey with loved ones or others later in which case I can give them a link to this blog and let them read everything. It will be hard to remember all the details years from now, I wanted to have it documented – kind of like my online anonymous journey. I met Sam about 3 weeks ago and I still have some things to document…after that, I will just keep this “journal” as needed and as I experience things. I want to have a place where I can write about my experiences, thoughts, feelings…and be able to access it anytime.)

So, at the medium, we went over my drawings, confirmed my feelings about them and what I “got out of it” and then she said – ok, I am dying to know who Sam is – and I couldn’t agree more. Bring it! She said she doesn’t think he is a high spiritual guide but a lower guide maybe even an angel.

So we sit down, facing each other, and she closes her eyes. she then says he is right next to me, sitting to my right – I think “ok…?”

She asks me if I was attracted to him in my “dream.” I thought “umm, I don’t know?” I remember thinking he was very spiffy and put together, which I love – he was wearing a suit – a man in a suit…rrrrr. 😉 But the answer is no, I didn’t think about that, I was focusing on what was happening, what he looked lie, who he was, etc.

She said the reason she asked that was because he was tall, good looking and he was one of my husbands from a past life, circa 1800. She said he was wearing a hat, a long coat and looked spiffy. She said he had been with me since birth in this life, he was one of my angels and he was here to help me. I got chills – OMG my Sam was my husband in another life? Whoa, how interesting, I thought. Isn’t that interesting???

WAIT – is that weird for my current life and husband? I decided, a clear no, but still I felt so lucky – this loving man was here to help me, he must have loved me a lot (he must still have a lot of love and compassion for me and my desire to get better) – he must know so much about me and what I am trying to do, who I am trying to be, how I am trying to live my life (at the highest level of myself) and he must have so much patience to connect with me and also so much understanding of the human condition to be able to “deal with me”  – I was just overwhelmed in a good way. I didn’t expect that.

I didn’t think it was someone I knew – I am not saying I know him but I clearly do, at a higher level – we clearly have a soul love connection and he is helping me – he is going to help guide me and now I know he is here…I have no doubt, I know who he is, I know what his purpose is, I know we can communicate – wow. Just wow.

The medium then told me “ok, this is a bit like charades…I am getting an image but it makes no sense to me because he is trying to communicate with you so…does a frog mean anything to you?” I said “yes! I have a huge frog in my living room, it is a toy, a rocking toddler toy my daughter rides.” So the medium said “what that means is that Sam wants you to know he is in your house, he is with you” I just got chills as I wrote this – that’s his yes to me, even now…so funny!

So I thought, ok, he’s in my house, yes clearly he is…I feel a presence, I feel stuff all the time. I have been feeling super anxious before we communicated almost like something is building – and then I found out what it was – this happened again and then we communicated but let’s not jump ahead.

I asked her if he is also the one turning the computer on and throwing my scrub off the counter and she said yes. I wanted to know because I was wondering ok, is this Sam or is there something else I need to know about? I was happy to know it was him but I also decided it wasn’t for me and I’d like to stick to visions and not flying objects or computer screens turning on at 3 am.

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Interjection – I didn’t tell you about my flying object. I was in my bathroom the day after I met Sam or the day of my medium meeting, don’t remember – and while in the bathroom, my heavy scrub jar “falls” off the ledge in the bathroom and onto my floor right in front of me. I knew it was not an “accident” because I was nowhere near it and I was looking right at it. I don’t really know why they do that…the medium thinks Sam was excited about our connection…I almost get the feeling that they will do everything they know how to do to get our attention and as I write this my light is flickering again hehe – it stopped 🙂

Interpretation – I now know he was just trying to get my attention because right after that was the first time I thought “I should document my experience” and the name of “Meeting Sam” sounded like what it should be – because that’s what it was all about. i just had that thought and then didn’t think anything of it. Now it all makes more sense – funny how many things make more sense, looking back.

~~~

She then said I should have some symbols with Sam so we can try to communicate. We set a symbol for “working hard” which was an ant (to me, in the Romanian culture, ants are the hard workers in folk stories), money which was pile of coins, losing money which was empty pockets, sick or not feeling well which was a hospital iron bed and i don’t remember what else.

She tried to get me to imagine a space, then a chair, then Sam sitting on it, then me communicating with him but I couldn’t do it. I tried to do the chair, I tried to get Sam in the picture, I changed the picture, it doesn’t really matter – the more I tried and the more structured and thought out it was the farther and more silly it seemed to me, I just couldn’t see anything. It wasn’t going to happen, I wasn’t feeling it.

So she gave me homework – my sister-in-law was going to Vegas and she said “think about your sister-in-law and ask Sam to tell you if she is winning or loosing sometime this weekend and see if you get one of your symbols?” I was excited for my homework.

We also discussed boundaries and the fact that I felt ungrateful if I think “I need to sleep” – she said no. She told me “imagine if a family member shows up at your house at 2 am to chat…what would you do?” I got it – I thought, ok, I need to be more firm and decide when I want to communicate and when I don’t. So, I said I will make appointments and we set two 30 minute appointments per week and I was to be available to meet and try to connect. I was to report back about everything.

After all this I communicated it all to Teri (my life savior) and she, as usual, helped me be very relaxed, present and awake about it all. I am finally feeling good about it! Exciting.

In my next blog I will talk about the symbol messages I received from Sam and how it happened. I guess we can graduate to a new category “after meeting sam?” 🙂

I always feel him around – it is comforting.

Much love.


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My awake dream

Right after I decided I was ok with making an introduction next time I went for a session with a medium, I met Sam…no introduction needed – this is a long story and I will try to explain it the best I can.

I also made “drawings” – these are stick figure drawings, they are meant to aid my descriptions and they are not very accurate but I tried 😉

This is a normal evening, just like any other evening – I go to bed and instead of sleeping, I am in a relaxed state with my eyes closed, trying to go to sleep. As I am falling asleep, I start to see little lights in my otherwise dark vision. Very faint, don’t make anything of them. I rub my eyes but my eyes are definitely closed and then I see this image:

IMG_3920

It was a wall, great wall, and this indian looking symbol in the middle like a gate keeper or not sure how to interpret it – it didn’t feel bad, it just was.

Later interpretations were 3D world borders, gate-keeper, 3rd eye opening, american indian energy (almost like a dream catcher) and third eye symbol look-alike, etc.

Whatever it is, it was interesting and it was pretty clear – my drawing is less than desirable but you get the idea 😉

I opened my eyes thinking OMG is that the devil, lol – but I quickly didn’t really care and just thought – weird! I then decided I really needed to go to sleep because now I am seeing “crazy stuff”

But that wasn’t the plan. Next, I saw a cool purple circle with multiple “orbits” rotating – that was on the right of my “horizon” and I also saw some lights around it – I didn’t count them and I don’t know how many exactly but around a handful.

IMG_3921I really didn’t know what to make of this and I was fully awake while seeing this – I thought I am seeing lights in the room so I kept touching my eyes and my eyelids were closed. I wasn’t dreaming because I was aware of my body (touching my eyes) and seeing “stuff” so I decided I am having some sort of an experience. Since I had decided I was ok with meeting a guide I thought maybe that is how I see a guide, as a light? I thought, ok, which one, come closer?

I then asked myself (in my mind) if these lights are guides or angels or spirits of loved ones, or? 🙂 I thought, I want to meet my spirit guide but I am scared. I kept thinking “oh, just go to bed, go to sleep, I am tired, go to bed, I don’t have time right now, I just need to sleep…”

But that didn’t quite happen 😉

In my drawings, the black lines represent just a dark “horizon” – like if you close your eyes and everything you see is black and the sheet of paper is the “big picture” like a movie screen. I tried to position all my masterpieces (hehe) just as they appeared in my mind’s eye – small or large, etc.

At this point I am back to the “yes I am curious but also lets try to go to sleep” thought – well, that’s mixed feelings (I was told later) and thus not what you would use as boundaries. Luckily, I didn’t have strong boundaries because I am happy I met Sam.

My next image was an S. The letter came in a light fog in the dark horizon and it came closer and very clear.

IMG_3922I had no doubt it was an S. I was excited, I knew I am getting a message and I thought “Sam” – I don’t know why I thought Sam and I immediately dismissed it because I thought I am making it up. I thought that must be the shortest and easiest name starting with an S I can think about.

I thought to myself, ok, I see an S, I see a clear S, so I am assuming your name starts with an S…I will call you S, no Superman, hehe. But I had a clear Sam – I just thought ok, spell it out, send more letters. Until then, all I know is an S.

I thought the way the S came was super cool – it was a little distorted, sort of like captcha, the letters you enter for online forms – but very clear at the same time – there was no doubt it was an S, a capital S.

So I, again, kept touching my eyes during these clear images, they were closed but I was awake – awake and tired but curious 🙂

I tossed and turned, I was completely aware of my body, etc – I was awake!

I thought to myself “ok, your name starts with an S, I get it” – I then saw him! He came in a fog too, like my letter, and he was small but I could notice quote a few things about him.

IMG_3923#1 he was a man.

#2 he was wearing a suit – very spiffy

#3 he had dark hair

#4 I could not see a clear face or facial features

#5 I didn’t know him (he was not a passed relative, etc)

Regardless, I knew he was trying to communicate and I knew his name started with an S. I remember thinking to myself “I wish I saw a face”, and “I wish I knew the full name” but I joked in my mind, ok, “Hi Superman or S or whatever your name is”

I remember thinking again how tired I was and that I really should sleep!

I was happy and thankful for the connection and I realized how “hard” it was. Meaning it felt slow and “coming from far away” almost to get the messages and images I saw.

At this point I fell asleep a little bit and when I woke up (eyes closed) I was seeing an a and I had to chuckle in my thoughts because I realized Sam is being confirmed, letter by letter – I got the M too, just a bit later. He spelled it out for me because he knew I was doubting my intuition that told me Sam in the beginning. I dismissed it and he confirmed it – in the future it will be easier to trust what thoughts I have and just go with the flow.

I kept thinking – “ok, this is really cool but I need to sleep, I will be SO tired!” – thoughts like this kept mixing with thoughts of “don’t be ungrateful – this is awesome. Some people spend a lifetime meditating and trying to have this happen and you just experience it easily, etc” – I was told later that boundaries are ok and I now feel that way – I feel more in control and I am still working on figuring out what works – this is all very new.

IMG_3925After falling asleep again, I “woke up” and with my eyes closed I saw Sam’s face, I knew it was him and I knew I am seeing something super large because I was complaining I didn’t get a face earlier 🙂

He has dark hair, big kind eyes and a mustache (I thought) so I exaggerated it in my drawing 🙂

So, the two questions I had (name confirmation, and face) were both answered the same night I met Sam – he heard me and he responded. I felt so happy and thankful that we were actually communicating!!! it was amazing.

But again, I was tired so I said thank you in my mind and said I was happy for the connection but really needed to sleep. Just before I thought “wait! Do you need to tell me something? Do you have a message for me?”

I didn’t really get much but again after a little sleep I got the feel of an audience – it felt like people sitting in an amphitheater.

IMG_3924I then got an image of a lot of lights out there – it was almost like the image from the movie Ghost (if you’ve seen it) at the end, when he “walks to the light” and there are others welcoming him into the other side, except for I wasn’t going there, I felt very much separated but I could see them all as many, many lights, happy lights.

I didn’t know what to make of it, I always wanted to know what am I supposed to do, how am I supposed to serve, what is my higher purpose? is there more to this (life)? Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing life…I don’t think things are “missing” I just always want to do more, learn more, help more, get better, pay attention, create joy and spread it! 🙂

When I showed this image to the medium she thought that many on the other side are excited about my awakening and my opening – excited about the connection. I think it feels true but I also got the audience feel and even though I don’t really know what it means, I trust it and I know that the answers will come at the right time.

Next waking up was in the morning and trust me, I wasn’t ready – I was, indeed, tired as I really didn’t sleep very well – but I was also excited about my connection and it seemed unreal.

It is also hard not being able to just tell anybody and everybody about it – can you imagine? “hey, guess what – last night I think I met a spirit guide and he spelled his name, and then…” haha, yeah right. Luckily, I have Teri and I was able to show her the images and talk to her about it without feeling judged. She agreed that Sam seemed like someone easy to ask questions of and he was…he definitely answered mine.

I felt like a whole new world is opening to me and as much as I was excited, I was also scared because I didn’t want to do this all the time as I was beat – I needed to figure out a better way but at the same time I was happy and excited.

What did this mean? Will I get some random spirits now connecting with me? Umm – creepy and NOT at all what I want to do. I have no desire to do that and I have no doubt that it is not over once we die so I don;t need to connect with all my dead relatives for any kind of reinforcement, etc – no, this is about something bigger – this is about something that I don’t already know. I am curious and I want to evolve and learn.

One other thing, during the night while I was having all the above visions, my computer turned on – full on light in the room and I thought—OH!!! don’t like that. Then, the second I looked at it, it turned right off! Now, for anybody that knows anything about computers, this is impossible given that I have a 30 minute screen saver setup – the computer once turned on, should have stayed on but it was Sam – he is computer savvy 🙂

It was kind of freaky and I remember this wasn’t the first time it happened but I never thought much of it before – now, since it happened right in the middle of the above visions, I knew he is telling me “I can do this;” however, it is not something I care for, it is a little freaky. I think the freaky part has to do with the society portraying different technology “stuff” in horror movies so that feels a little scary to me whereas the visions were peaceful. So I gave a mental message “I don’t like that, stop” at the time and went on to bed. I didn’t really see/get the point at the time…”so you can turn the computer on and off and it is freaky”…ok…and? 🙂

BUT now I get it – he was trying to make me understand that he is with me! He was trying to tell me who he was, really, but I wasn’t getting it at the time. I didn’t make the connection at all. Sometimes communicating is like charades…you have to interpret messages and I just didn’t get it – but looking back it makes perfect sense. Now, it makes sense.

I was asking who he was and he was trying to explain that he was in my house, he was with me…but since I didn’t know him, I still didn’t get it. Maybe he was also trying to tell me that although the communication seems slow and from “far away” he is actually very close to me…that’s the feeling I get, that’s what I think he was trying to do. He is definitely not trying to scare me, I know that. Because I knew that at the time I thought – ok don’t do that. 🙂 (update – it doesn’t bother me as much now – although electric issues are not my favorite ways of communicating) sometimes i get flickering lights that otherwise work just fine, etc. I now say in my mind “hi Sam” and it usually stops. He knows it is not my favorite thing and I continue to tell him it is a little freaky. 🙂

Next, I will tell you about going to the medium to confirm exactly who Sam is – pretty cool.

Much love.