Before I tell you about meeting Sam, I have to tell you a little bit about my environment. I have been working with Teri for a while now, things are always great when she is around.
1. I can sometimes feel my grandma and nanny’s love around, I get a beautiful love feeling – sometimes I smell something that reminds me of their bodies (I have “mommy” smells I identify with them like a baby) and other times I just get a thought, a feeling of sheer love that brings me to tears and I send them love back – I miss them and I love thinking about them. I just love them SO much.
2. At the same time, a little bit of my anxiety about “others,” not being alone, watch over my shoulder, dark and quiet, being alone, etc came back. I thought “oh dear” – need to do some EFT and get rid of that memory of fear or new fear, etc.
3. Around the same time, some of my family members were talking about feeling like a dead loved one was trying to talk to them, dreaming about them, feeling like they need to see a medium. Another family member mentioned seeing a ghost and described the experience (this did not help my anxiety) 😉 Now I thought, ok, I really need to EFT.
4. Around the same time, while I was in my bathroom showering, I saw a silhouette out the corner of my eye. I jumped out of my skin – I know there was “something” there. I have no doubt but I didn’t know who, what – I had a strong feeling that it was a woman and that it was a loving presence, I didn’t feel bad although I was very scared. I proceeded to tell “it” that I was really scared and that I need to be left alone because I nearly skipped a beat. I communicated that although it might be easier to communicate if I have a heart attack, I don’t think that’s the best approach and didn’t think that was their intention so “back off.” (I later found out it is technically “my fault” I can see or feel them and that I should not be so harsh – working on it but I also have boundaries!)
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The following days, I kept feeling anxious, there was something I needed to do – so, I asked for the medium’s phone number and I decided to go and have an EFT session and see if any big issues come up that I want to clear, etc and also see if I needed to talk/connect to someone, specifically, in which case I can schedule another appointment.
During the session, I mention my fear and I start to tell her about my dream, my feelings, my life and she immediately tells me: honey, you are clairvoyant. I thought, ok, whatever! 🙂 How do I make this anxiety go away, lets just do some quick eft and forget about it but there was just too much going on in my life at this point for me to let it go – I didn’t want to do EFT, I wanted to know more. I just had a feeling that I needed to do something, I was willing to at least think about it.
Background: I haven’t meditated one minute in my life and I never tried to have any kind of non physical experience – until now, this is something that happened “to me” and thus it was terrifying. I couldn’t talk about it, what can I make of it? I am afraid of the dark? Teri was the only one who has been able to explain what was happening and give me tools to help with my fear.
I was told (by the medium) I had an option – I could either open up, try to make a connection and meet my spiritual guide and align my chakras OR decide it is not for me and close some of my chakras for now. Closing would keep my awareness of non physical energies low and thus help with my anxiety. I was assured, however, that nothing around me was “bad” – my homework was to decide yes or no and I was just a bit confused, uneducated and out of my league to even begin to know what I wanted to do. what does yes mean? is saying no, selfish? I was curious yet scared…what was happening and why now, why me, what am I supposed to do? Luckily, I have Teri (see the post about meeting Teri), who always brings me back to reality and to my NOW. she makes it easy for me to relax and be able to make decisions from a place of love, creativity and joy.
After a few days I decided that I did want to be open, I did want to make a connection. I may not have the time (at this particular point in my life) to take a lot of classes, meditate daily and really immerse myself into this practice BUT I am open to my personal guide and to things that can be beneficial to me and my loved ones. Teri gave me an affirmation to help with boundaries until I go back to see Michele and then it happened…I met Sam!
I guess Sam didn’t want to wait until my next medium visit, nor did I need to know how to meditate, try to connect or do anything special like open my chakras or get introduced (not that those things don’t help!) – it simply happened because I think he knew I was ok with it at this point and we were ready for the first connection – it was the most amazing yet weird yet beautiful thing I ever experienced and there are no words to describe it; however, I will do my best to put my experience in words in my next blog.